You know that sound you make to someone instead of saying "No!" or "Don't you even think about it!". The one that sounds like "Ah-ah-aah!" (No. Not a-ha. Let's try again.) You know, your voice escalates to a higher pitch and more urgent/forceful sound with each Ah, and the last Aaah is held just a second longer and made into two syllables with the second syllable dropping in pitch.
Do it with me now:
Ah- ah-aaaahh!
Well, for readers who have babies or who will be having babies in the future, I'm going to let you in on a little tip. Are you ready?
It is not cute or heartwarming when little 1 year olds yell "No!". I had a friend who bemoaned the fact that "no" was the first word all her children learned. It's not charming or adorable. And your baby is definitely charming and adorable. So instead of saying "no" to your baby, in any circumstance in which you might say "no", substitute "Ah-ah-aaah". Even though baby may hear you saying "no" to other people, she will won't pick it up for a long time.And, she may say "Ah-ah-aaah" when she means "no", and that is adorable.
It's important to make sure everyone is on board with this plan. If one parent or caregiver is frequently saying "no", this trick won't really work.
The non-"no" effect has lasted with my children as they've gotten older. They rarely yell no, not even when they are really upset.
Happy ah-ah-aaahhing!
15 comments:
Ah Ah Ah! Ah Ha!
Um. I thought you were going to talk about baby signing. I think baby signing is so cool.
We totally use AH AH AH! in place of No! at our house. it is great, because now Ruby has little brother who gets in her way, and hearing her tell him AH AH AH! is much less irritating. Also, I actually think AH AH AH is more effective--I have slipped up and retreated to NO! and I am more easily ignored with NO!
AH AH AH! is the way to go. I'm on board! If I babysit your kids, I will use AH AH AH. ;-)
I think I used it with other kids, older ages too, a few times. Funny. Other kids whose parents don't use are very effectively dissuaded with it. It is new and powerful to them.
Sometimes I combine it like this: "AH AH AH! No thanks." The no thanks part can be said in a calm voice and with a softer facial expression. It softens the blow. ;-) No thanks is great to use when you need something not quite so strong.
So much has to do with TONE of voice! It amazes me.
I wonder if I could re-train my 3 year old.... hmmm.
-LuLu
i really like this idea. something about noooooo! from a toddler is just so ugly. i mean, it can be funny, but usually not.
Dear Bossy,
will this work with adults?
with husbands?
with grandparents?
with community volunteer chairmen, Bishops, RS presidents, or with needy visiting teachees?
with whiners?
with narcissistic neurotics?
with people who are really, really stupid?
with dogs?
do you think it will work for teens with raging hormones? I mean should we be teaching them to say "ah ah ahh" instead of "no" in a parked car?
You have a blog and I'm just now finding it. Did the socal people finally break you? :) Hope all is well and you are enjoying your beach life. I miss ya!
NO NO NO no NO no NO NO NO no NO no NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
so there.
just kidding
Sally,
Can you possibly add a video of you demonstrating Ah Ah Ah? Thank you.
Ok sally I totally use this with our dog chino and it works better then NO, with him so I know for a fact it can work on more then just children!!! :)
Becky, HA HA HA! That is so funny. Really funny. I can totally see it.
I think that no can be ok. You just have to use it right. You also have to be good at re-directing. Kids are all so different, some of our children have cried when we say No-no and others have laughed in our faces.
I agree though, babies yelling NOOOOOOO isn't very charming.
Sal - I have been wondering for awhile now what I could say to James instead of "no" and I'm loving the "ah aaah aaaah" idea. I'm totally going to do it. You always have the best advice!
Sally,
We also did this with our dog. And since Will was 2 when we got the dog, he pretty much learned the ah aaah aaah instead of no. And it was a lifesaver. I wish I knew this trick when the rest of my kids were little. It would have saved me lots of grief. Thanks for sharing!
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