How to: ER version.

By Melissa



I always wondered what you would do if you had to take your child to the emergency room. Would you hop in the car, blood spurting, leg bending backwards and race as fast as you can? Maybe. We luckily haven't had those kind of emergencies. My pediatrician told me once about a woman who was convinced she could get her baby to the ER faster than waiting for an ambulance, it was the wrong choice-- Don't try this, paramedics know what they are doing and can do it while driving- you can't. If it is truly life and death, get the help you or your loved one needs.

However, over the past 11 years of parenting we've logged in more than our fair share of non-life threatening but Emergency Room worthy hospital time. After this past weeks visit I thought, "I'm getting good at this! I should blog about it!" So, here are my tips for "enjoying" your E.R./ hospital stay.

If you do have time, it is worth taking 5 minutes before rushing out the door to grab a few things. These are my essentials:

1. A blanket for the child, hospitals think a sheet is a blanket! Something cozy and familiar makes sleeping somewhere foreign much nicer. Also, binkies, teddy bear, American Girl Dolls. ;) Whatever is their "lovey".
2. Clean clothes for you both (really, you are likely to get bled on, puked on, spilled on, or end up staying longer than you expected and want to freshen up.) Don't forget dry underwear for your kiddo. Honestly, even the child that never has accidents, when there is an I.V., new meds can surprise you... it is worth it to have extras.
3. Cozy socks and a sweater. Hospitals are cold year round, especially at night!
4. Glasses/contact case, make up or at least lip gloss
5. Insurance info and cell phone (this probably should be closer to the top, but they have all this stuff already!)
6. entertainment. We "frequent" a children's hospital (one of the best!) but even still, it is nice to have some books, stickers, coloring stuff, nintendo ds....
7. Entertainment for you and maybe some snacks. Your child will not be able to eat till a doctor ok's it, but you might get hungry and might not want to leave your child alone to track down a candy bar... (I'm thinking I might be the only one who can't go anywhere without packing enough food in her purse to not be starving... I take food everywhere, so maybe skip this and go to number 8.)
8. Money for vending machines! :)

Alright, here are my tips for surviving once you are there.

1. Be really nice. It pays. People are nice to you when you are nice to them. It would seem logical, but when you are stressed sometimes it is easy to over react about little things.
2. Listen to the names of the people who are caring for your child. Repeat them and use them. This isn't' just nice, but helps when "Mary" comes in to start an i.v. and you can say "Anne" just said we were going for x-rays before putting in the iv. Or whatever. It helps.
3. Ask questions and write things down. You are your child's advocate! Make sure you understand what is happening.
4. Eat! Our hospital lets you buy meals to be delivered with your child's. They are reasonably priced, but I tend to "over order" for her not knowing what she would eat, then I finish it off. I think my husband orders a meal of his own... either way, it is important to not be starving! (again, I'm probably just going back to that irrational fear of going hungry... do what works for you!)
5. Once your child is settled, get your own needs met. This past week we were spending the night in the emergency observation department. There was a stretcher for my girl and a chair for me. Not even a soft chair. I cheerfully asked if there was anything more comfortable I could sit on and they brought in a lovely chair/bed thingy. So much nicer for the next 18 hours!

Last of all, It is all about Perspective. We've driven to the emergency room, we've taken ambulances, we've even arrived in a helicopter, but each time, it only takes a minute to realize how blessed we are to be able to get such outstanding care. This week, I watched at least 4 stretchers being wheeled in, kids with neck braces, hustling paramedics and sobbing parents trailing after them. There is just something about a Children's Hospital... if you think your life stinks, go, walk around for an hour and count your many blessings.

I Love The Olympics!

By Melissa

I really really do! Our family always eats traditional food of the host country while we watch the opening ceremonies. My kids spin our globe around, finding each country as the athletes parade in. I love it. I learn new things! (Who knew 90% of Canadians live within 100 miles of the Canada/US border?) I get weepy watching athletes win and loose. No matter whose anthem is played I get chills. I love the personal stories and the amazing dedication! For 2 weeks my kids get a rare chance to watch recorded shows after dinner. We cheer, we watch in wonder, we gasp! (Yesterday my kids spent 3 hours outside in new snow doing their own version of the luge, speed skating, and downhill skiing on our driveway.) Today Eve said "I am getting good at the side by side triple toe, except, when Jane isn't next to me, then it is a plain triple toe." We love the Olympics!

Then I heard this About the games. I'll be honest, it just baffles me. I mean, I know I'm prudish, but come on! Really? What made the IOC think, "Gee, you know, we ought to give the athletes a hat with our logo, and badges and pins and free water bottles and condoms!" I mean, really? Is this necessary? (ok, even if it is necessary, note the volume- that is 14 per athlete or official...)
Am I alone thinking this is a touch absurd?

Too much Christmas music?

by Melissa

Maybe. I only say this because I'm beginning to analyze the songs too much. I mean really, if I had been Rudolph's mother, I would have told him that people who only like him once he becomes useful to them are not his true friends. And Frosty? kind of breaking some laws running here and there! (not to mention that whole "catch me if you can" thing. I do enough 2 year old chasing, lets not encourage it!)

I think my favorite, laugh out loud lyric comes from the song Here Comes Santa Claus.... I don't know who was singing it, but when I heard it last night on the radio I laughed hard. The original lyrics are lovely... but this guy added a few extra words here and there...

"Peace on Earth will come to men, if we just sorta follow the light..."

Sorta? Um, again the mom in me comes out. "My homework was sorta late." "I sorta cleaned my room" "I sorta have a job" "I sorta did something nice for someone" "I'm sorta out of money in my bank account".... Sorta just doesn't cut it around here.

I guess I need new Christmas music. I'm taking suggestions please!

In Memory of our Dad

by Emily

Today we are celebrating the life of our father, David Wright Austin. He passed away last week on Thanksgiving morning. He used to always joke with me that it was Thanksgiving everyday for him because (due to food allergies) he often ate turkey and sweet potatoes. One of the things I like to remember about my dad was his sense of humor, like that recurring Thanksgiving joke.

We loved our Dad, and we will miss him. Here is a video to honor him, we hope you'll join us for a moment and enjoy the video. You can also read beautiful posts by Kristen, Robin (here and here), and Melissa, on their personal blogs.

A slideshow presentation in memory of my father.



David Wright Austin

May 27, 1938 - November 26, 2009

I have this amazing sister...

well, I'm not sure what to call her. Our parents were married for a while, so I can call her sister right?

Picture this, I'm sitting down reading Christmas cards and I open a darling letter from her family. I read all about the adventures of her 5 young children, her busy husband and then, I read that in addition to raising 5 kids (twins in there), owning a dance studio and teaching dozens of dancers each year, serving in her church and the daily tasks of house and home she has written a book!

An actual book. I can't even write my grocery list.

I can't wait to have this in my hands. I am so proud of her! Not only does it take talent to write like this, but perseverance to get it out there! To become a published author. Wow!

You should read it too. I read the first chapter and cannot wait to get this in my hands. You can buy it on amazon.com or through her publisher here. I think my 10 year old will really be into it too, especially because Aunt Laura is an author!

Happy Martyr's Day, I mean Mother's Day...

A few years back, I sat listening to a lovely Mother's Day service at church. The songs all heralded the joy and loveliness of motherhood. The speakers all praised their perfect wives, mothers and sisters. It was beautiful.

And I sobbed.

My sweet husband had left early that morning for meetings, with a kiss on my cheek and a tender look that said "sorry!" Then I had spent 2 hours wrestling small children into fluffy dresses, trying to find those matching socks, shoes and hairbows that had been set out Saturday night but walked off before 9 a.m. (does this happen to anyone else?) There had been no time for breakfast in bed, diamonds, or lovely cards. I had been crabby with my children and short tempered.

And so I sobbed. I spent most of church feeling inadequate, unqualified, guilty and annoyed with how Mother's Day was no different from any other "Day of rest" (my eye.)

Then, I snapped out of it. For pete's sake. What was my problem? Pity Parties are so ugly. I decided right then and there that I am the best mom my kids will ever have. I love them heart and soul and I am doing my best. End of story. No more comparisons, no more guilt. I am who I am.

When we got home, I rallied the troops in making a lovely lunch, we invited friends over for dinner so that we could give someone else a break. My kids gave me the cards their Sunday School teachers had helped them make and all was well.

My attitude has greatly changed about Mother's Day. I appreciate my Mothers. I have many and all have blessed and enriched my life. We live away from family, so the actual day of Mother's Day in our house is about me, and I CHOOSE what the day will bring. I'm realistic in my expectations. I don't want diamonds and they aren't coming. Hallmark doesn't dictate how our family enjoys the day.

My idea of showing love is a nice meal. So, I plan good food. I buy what I want and enlist help in putting it together. We enjoy time in the kitchen as a family. I don't expect Dave to read my mind, I tell him what I want and then we are all happy!

This week I took Jane to the store. She insisted on spending all of the money in her bank on a Mother's Day gift for me. The children have all spent countless hours putting together cards, writing a song book for Mothers, drawing pictures... They are so excited. Jane asks me daily how many more days. She says she can't wait to see my reaction to her gift. She also has asked me to help her make muffins for Sunday morning on Saturday, because she knows we always have to rush out the door.... I also heard whisperings about breakfast in bed Saturday (I'll have my favorite bagels in the fridge and granola... They'll be so happy to give me exactly what I would want!)

For me, at this stage, this is what Mother's Day is about. With the help of a sweet husband, I am teaching my children how to show me and their Grandma's and Aunts Love. They are learning how to show someone that you care, how to prepare nice things for them... the best part of Mother's day will be watching the joy my children have found in treating me like their queen.
Please excuse the Valentine collage. This is the only picture of me and my children I have! Job #1 for Sunday morning is a family picture!

To Vax or not to Vax

By Melissa

Last week, I sat in the pediatrician's office, watching my 3 healthy children play with blocks. I was hemming and hawing about which shots, if any, we should get during this "well child" visit.

My first few children were vaccinated on the recommended schedule. Never any real worries, just sadness over the pain. I'd done a lot of reading and concluded it was right for us. Eve came along with a special set of worries and we did her shots a bit different, making sure she had what was most critical and delaying the ones that might cause problems or we deemed least necessary, but she ended up getting everything over time.

FF to Lily. At 20 something months she had a set of shots. Nothing seemed wrong, no obvious fever, but when she woke from her nap she wouldn't stand, at all. She wouldn't bear any weight on her leg. No walking, no crawling, hardly any moving her leg... I was freaked out! (Of course, it was a Friday afternoon. Why do all things questionable happen on Fridays?) Anyway, we kept a close eye on her. 2 weeks later she was back to walking but still limping and our doctor suggested we not finish up that series.

So here I sit, watching my sweet Henry, who at 18 months has only had a handful of shots (and a minor (major to a mother) reaction with the last set) and I concluded-- no shots today. (again!) We'll start to catch up next time... with this baby, the maternal instinct has been loud and clear-- hold off, go slow! My doctor has been understanding, and even supportive. I love her.

When the doctor came in, she looked over his records. I told her my plan: MMR at 2. I can do that. I'm comfortable with that. She then said, in the way a friend talks to a friend, "Melissa, I admitted a child for Mumps this morning. A child who was out, playing with those same blocks in the waiting room. ---And the next county over has an Measels outbreak! Measels Melissa!"

And I looked at my baby. And I panicked. What is worse, worrying about possible side effects to vaccinations given to millions of kids, or worrying about my son getting a serious illness I could have prevented. I started to sweat.

I suppose this post could be about determining the voice of fear vs trusting your instinct or listening to God Given Promptings... It is about figuring out what is right for your baby. It isn't easy.

We got an email this week about Gardasil, and it made me wonder how I'll handle that one when the time comes. Hopefully, I'll have answers and be able to listen for them.

And, for what it is worth, I'm not providing any support either way. On purpose. After doing hours and hours of research, I have yet to find a good, solid, unbiased source pro-vax or anti-vax. I'd love to hear your take on it, and what helped you decide... however, all the discussions, IRL and online have been heated. Let's be civil. :)

Paper Mache Easter Eggs

By Melissa
Last spring, my sweet Jane was in a "craft-idea-library-book" phase. My favorite was the paper mache book. We decided to keep it simple and create Easter eggs.
We used balloons, newspaper and homemade paste (water and flour). The kids loved getting their fingers so messy and it was fun to teach them how to make sure the balloon was completely covered and the newspaper was as smooth as possible. It took longer to dry than I expected (humidity? I blame everything on humidity!), and we did a few coats to make them nice and strong.

Next we painted them, then the kids designed them. Here is my biggest tip. Set them up for success. I didn't let them go completely wild. I helped draw little rainbows all over the eggs, stenciled in lines for stripes, sketched in flowers and circles.... then we glued them to ribbons and strung them across the front window. They were thrilled with their finished project!
Go for it! Have fun! My kids were so excited when we pulled these out to decorate this year. Ownership is such a good thing.

Say it with me

When Dave and I were newly married we lived in a duplex. My neighbor was a busy mother of 4 very young children and I was substituting and teaching at Sylvan Learning center. Every.single.time she saw my car in the driveway she called to see if I could watch her children. I'm not joking. It was bad.

The really bad part though is that, I started to lie instead of saying no. I was weak, young and naive. I told her I was on my way out--- then I had to leave. Or I told her I was sick--- then I had to stay home! It is true what they say about lies, I'd get stuck in them and have to make them truths. ;)

Since then, I have learned to be a very good at saying NO. Here are my 5 tips.

1. Just say No. Stop there. You don't need to explain yourself (this was my problem with my neighbor. My dear Dave would laugh at my predicament and ask why I felt compelled to give her more information that she needed.)
2. Tell them what you are willing to do. "I am only available till 10:00 this morning." or "I am able to help make flyers, but I cannot be at the event."
3. Don't get rushed into a decision, tell them "I'll get back to you about that."
4. Know your limitations. Consider what saying yes will mean to not only you, but your family.
   
5. When the conversation starts with "Can I ask you a favor?" Don't say YES! People think the yes is for the favor, not the asking of it. :) I like to say, "What do you need?" Keeps me totally off the hook.

If you need more tips, Oprah had a series of articles about saying no in all different settings. I also love this talk about Good, Better, Best by Dallin H. Oaks.
He says:

We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.

Lastly, one more reminder from D. H. Oaks talk.

In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best. A friend took his young family on a series of summer vacation trips, including visits to memorable historic sites. At the end of the summer he asked his teenage son which of these good summer activities he enjoyed most. The father learned from the reply, and so did those he told of it. “The thing I liked best this summer,” the boy replied, “was the night you and I laid on the lawn and looked at the stars and talked.” Super family activities may be good for children, but they are not always better than one-on-one time with a loving parent.

Have a great weekend!

Happy Spring!

It is official. Put away those Parkas and long johns! Spring is HERE!

Here is your assignment for the day.

Go ahead! Try it! Stand your eggs all up on end!

Some people say it can only be done on the Vernal Equinox, but my research (10 minutes on Google) implies what it really takes is patience not the perfect alignment of sun, moon, stars ad equator.
Either way, it is cool! I can't wait for my kids to get home and show them.

Have more fun.

By Melissa
A while back my sweet 6 year old said to me, "Mom, when are we going to go to the Great Wall of China or the Chip Factory or somewhere fun?"

My jaw dropped. Then I picked it up and smiled. I adore that in her mind, the Great Wall of China is about equal to driving 20 minutes to the Herr's Chip Factory, taking a free tour and getting a handful of warm chips hot off the press. (Heavenly, by the way.) The fun is in doing something together as a family! TOGETHER!!! (and not cleaning.)

Make life more fun! Dance. Sing silly songs. Make the chores a game. Laugh! Have adventures in daily activities. Laundry will wait, so will the dishes, dust and dirt. Do something fun, like the Great Wall or the Chip Factory, today!

Tell me what fun thing you are doing today or this weekend, Let's inspire each other!

I'm off lunching with the ladies. What a treat! (we are celebrating a friend's newfound health and freedom! Hooray!!)

Day Tripping.

We live in a fabulous location. An easy hours drive can have you in the heart of Amish country, the Jersey Shores, Delaware Beaches, Annapolis- home of the Naval Academy, Philly, or Baltimore. If you are willing to go another 45 minutes to an hour you can be in DC or NYC.

Yes, we love our location. We also are huge fans of day trips. We very seldom pack all our stuff for an overnight stay-- why bother when we can make a day of it then sleep in our own beds?

Here are my tips for successful day trips:

• Be ready the night before. Pack the bags, lay out the clothes, find all the shoes... This assures that you'll leave the house before noon.
  
• Pack food. Lots and lots of food, in individual servings. It may take longer but is so much more do-able when walking through the zoo or in the car. Don't forget the merit of carrots, apples, cheese sticks... junk doesn't feel very good in your tummy come about 5:00.
  
• Pack water, but be mindful of how many bathroom stops you want to take...
  
• Babywipes, babywipes, babywipes.
  
• Wear layers. I'm always surprised at how chilly a breeze can make a sunny day feel. Sweatshirts are your best friend!
• Take it easy! The joy of a day trip is that what you don't see today you can come back for. I'd much rather really enjoy one museum than rush through 3.
• Go for the offbeat attractions too! Some of our favorite things we have seen were in the back corner of a museum nobody suggested we visit (An amazing flag collection in a closet of a museum at the Naval Academy).
  
• Don't forget your camera! I take photos of signs that tell where we are, so when I get around to scrapbooking them (wink wink, yeah right.) in 25 years I'll know where we were.
• Don't forget, it is about Having Fun!
  

One of recent trips to DC included a car overheating, getting lost behind the zoo, a daughter throwing up (on a National Monument no less) and a Mom with a Vomit-inducing Migraine. We had an awesome day, no really, we did! I think being extra prepared and able to relax and laugh makes all the difference.

This is Eve. Good thing I believed her when she said she was feeling sick and told her to "lean out" rather than tossing her cookies on Sleeping Henry.

Made ya laugh.

I've been trying to come up with a list of things that made me laugh recently and I'm not sure they are funny.

Well, I think they are funny, but they might be the "you had to be there" kind of funny. Like when my sweet mild mannered husband said to the woman at the drive thru (who spoke no English) "Danke Muchacha!!!!!!!!!" in a loud gravelly voice. I spit out my soda. She'd already closed the window, but we laughed till we cried. Then, we said it over and over on our trip and laughed each time.

We laugh when we hear our sleeping little ones snoring.

We laugh when we see our kids being goofy.

We laugh at dumb shows like the office. Oh, Angela and the hairball! ack!

We laugh at silly mis-said words. Lily has been making "clementines" (valentines) for her cousins all week.

We laugh when we do the same dumb mistakes. Will I ever learn to put Jell-O in the fridge without spilling it?

We laughed at the letter of apology my son wrote to his teacher. In respect to him I won't share it, but I promise it made his teacher smile.

We laugh at pictures--captured images that show Personality!

Tell me what has made you laugh lately.

U R a QT.

Remember reading every single conversation heart from every boy in your class and trying to find hidden meanings? Does he like me? The conversation heart says YES! This post is about Kids Valentines! Growing up we never ever bought boxed Valentines, so my kids don't complain when I cover the dining room table with pink and red paper, doilies and stickers, and tell them "Go Wild!"

I love Valentines Day! I love watching my kids pour over their bags of cards and eating too much sticky sweetness and reading silly jokes and cheesy well wishes.

Getting Valentines ready for classmates is becoming a bigger and bigger job each year. At first we just made a handful for friends, then we started Pre-school and had to sign 12 of them! That was intense. This year we have 3 school age kids with 25 in each class... time to stream line. I think tomorrow we will be making these:and these:


Although something like this is fun, I think we'd loose our steam half way through.

Please share your adorable ideas for kids valentines. I'm not totally sold. (Also, if your child came home with a home-made goody from a classmate would you let them eat it? assuming they didn't eat it on the bus on the way home... para.) I don't want to bother delicately decorating 90 sugar cookies with individualized names for nothing.... yeah right.

Ideas came from here

Holding

I was at the hospital with a friend last night. A few minor complications with her precious baby girl, left her 6 hours out of the womb and not being cuddled yet. My friends arms were aching. All she wanted was to hold her baby. I couldn't help but go back in my mind to the 10 days we waited to hold my Eve for the first time. 10 days. My arms literally ached for her. One time we had to go 21 days. 21 days without her in my arms. Torture for a mother or father. It just struck me how much we want to HOLD to fix things. My friend kept saying, "If I could just hold her, maybe she'd be ok." (she is ok by the way, more than ok, beautiful and fine. Just fine.)

So, I got thinking as I drove home (after finally watching Mom and Baby cuddle and love and bond.) Holding. It is so important. I love to hold my babies, awake, asleep, big, little, cuddly, squirmy, hurt or healthy. We offer to hold hands when someone needs comfort or safety. We hold hands when we walk, to show affection and/or protection. We hold each other to show Love. Isn't holding so nice?

Holding. I think it is Human Nature to want to "Hold" someone when they need help. Do you?
So reach out! Hold someone!
Images from Flickr, aren't they good?

Winter Fashion.

It is comical that I am posting about Fashion. Laughable actually. However, I have been noticing something lately.

I am 35 (almost). I am on the fringe. (and so punny, fringe, scarves, get it?)

I have little ones, so I go to playgroup with the "Young Moms" and I have an almost 10 year old so I can hang with the "Older Moms" as well. In fact, it is a touch of a pickle to be in, or rather it would be if I cared. I'm kind of odd man out in both groups. In some ways, I'm on my own island, I like my island, so all is well.

Anywho, back to fashion. Scarves. There is a definite difference. The Moms with kids Michael's age wear them the way I always have. Wrapped around, you know, the way Grandma showed you how?

The Moms with kids Lily (3) and Henry's (1) age wear them like this.

So, update: Be Young. Wear the scarf the new way. It will take Years off. Years I tell you! Years. When did we make the change anyway? I must have missed the memo, How many years have I been out of the loop? (Get it, loop? oh, I crack myself up!)

It's the Little Things.

My turn to share my favorites. You'll note that Sally's faves are all very literary and smart. She is chic and classy.

My favorites aren't classy. At all. But, they are my favorites! I asked my Favorite friend what I should post, she knows me so well, she rattled off a bunch of things that I rave on day in and day out.

When she said Downy, I immediately went dreamy eyed and said in a soft voice, "ohhhh, I love Downy!" I love my Downy Ball too. I do so stinkin' much laundry it is crazy. I keep imagining what empty laundry baskets would look like, but I never get there. I love the way Downy smells. I close my eyes and it feels like my Mom's laundry. I think I could drink it. Downy keeps me happy while I continue to gather, sort (ok, I don't sort, but I know it is one of the "steps"), load, reboot, fold, put away. Rinse and Repeat.

I love to make bows and tie pretty packages! I love this site for its beautiful and reasonable selection of Ribbon.

I am a Wal-Mart Shopper, but I always shop with a handful of munchkins. I also have to go for the best deals and this season WalMart's Site to Store is just what the doctor ordered. I can do all my comparison shopping online, then fill up my "cart", use my card or even PayPal account, then pick it all up at the store in an unmarked (read: non-Santa Spoiling) box.

Please, if you like candy canes and white chocolate don't try a bag of Candy Cane Kisses. Really, they aren't that good. Promise. Leave them on the shelf for someone else. (Me.) They make great Buttons too... (I usually use Snaps- you know the checkerboard pretzels? and Holiday M&M's.) It is a great kid project!
After the Christmas music post I got itching for some new tunes... but really, I don't need more CDs. In steps Pandora. Pandora.com is a free website where you type in what kind of music you want (I tried Amy Grant Christmas) and it shuffles music by that artist and similar artists. I Love It! Try it! (My techy husband also hooks my laptop up to my kitchen speakers, how cool is that?) I'm listening right now! Nice. The best I've found is Jim Brickman Holiday, it is very nice background music.
I love this show! I totally look at my "wardrobe" differently! I wonder if I could nominate my daughters...

Lastly, my favorite comedian. Brian Regan makes me laugh hard.

Book'em Danno.

My Babies have all loved to be swaddled. Beginning from day one, we make a burrito baby and you could see them go "aaahhhh.... Thank goodness, those arms were making me crazy waving all around!"

My "baby" turned 1 last month. sob sob, sniffle sniffle We still swaddle him. It is funny to watch him fall asleep. I love it, it is my favorite thing and not just because he is sleeping. I love to watch him relax.

Last night, while contemplating what to blog, I watched my sweet husband wrap him tighter than imaginable and rock him on his lap to dream land. I was inspired! Here is today's Bossing! Swaddle!

Sleep tight.

I feel compelled to add that time of swaddle was 7:13, time entering dreamland was 7:15. It works I tell ya!

Christmas coins

by Melissa

This past week. I was making a schedule for a little Play-School I'm doing for my 3 year old and her friends and I realized Christmas is only about 8 weeks away. Yikes! Then, I got thinking about the past few Decembers, and here comes the true confessions-- I clearly remember thinking, "I'll think of thoughtful gifts next year, this year I just need to BUY SOMETHING." "Next year I am going to teach my kids about Giving." "I'll take time to feel the 'spirit' of the Season after Christmas" Yes, I actually thought this-- lets just get the 25th over and then I'll relax and feel all Christmassy.... um, delusional? Maybe. (I was actually called delusional yesterday. I'm clinging to it, it makes me feel better about things.)

Switch Gears.

My friend Becky gives her kids Mom Bucks for all sorts of things... extra chores, good behavior, that kind of thing. (She also has the power to take them away--- oooh, Power!) Her kids use them to buy special treats... She told me about this and I thought it was terrific, but I was too lazy to implement it. This happens to me a lot. A lot. I hear great ideas that make for responsible kids and happy families and I am too lazy to do the set up... But not this time. This time, I decided to spin it my way.

Enter Christmas Coins:

Each child created a jar. Ugly as Sin, but they needed some ownership here, I was picturing all PBK cutesy I got 4th grade boy draws aliens... whatever, he feels invested. That was the point. Each Darling Child gets Poker chips aka Christmas Coins for all sorts of reasons-- Jobs well done, done without nagging, Kindness to others... you get the idea. The Coins earned go towards buying gifts for each other! (Maybe this year I'll teach the joy of giving?)

I hope it works. Yesterday, after Henry had eaten 3 markers from off the dining room/Art Central floor, I threatened to dump all the previously earned coins... not so well played by me. I'll try for better today. They are motivated to earn and give, and so am I. I am hoping in starting this "giving" theme early I will have a more with-it Christmas Season.

Mid-Day Connection

When my oldest went off to first grade I cried. Cried! I couldn't imagine going from 8:30 in the morning till 4:15 pm without talking to him. What would he be thinking about? Who would he sit by? What if his zipper stuck? What if, what if, what if! I didn't let him see me weep, in fact, I was stoic--no, no I was cheerful! It was a great thing to go to school-- I knew, I had done it myself! I had been a student, it was fun! I had been a teacher, it was fun! He was going to love it.

Inside I was sobbing.

Then, I remembered lunch. Oh great, who was going to open his juice box for him? More worries... no wait, a note! It all came to me! A note. That was the ticket to all my woes. I could send him a love note everyday. It was like we were talking in the middle of the day, a bit one sided, but better than nothing.

I have since sent 2 more children off for the first day at school, lunch box in hand... note included. Some times the note is an ode to the child. A list of wonderful attributes, sometimes a reminder to bring home the trombone or to wipe the Oreo's off their lips before going back to class. Sometimes I make a poem from their name, a countdown till a major event or send a silly joke. One day I sent in a note, a testimony of what I believe and that I know they are remarkable kids. I figure I spend about 2 minutes a day... It isn't much, but it makes me smile and I feel a bit more connected while they are gone.

A month after my daughter started all day kindergarten this fall, I asked her what she liked most about school. She has lots of new friends, library, PE, Music, Art class, Choice Time, Centers, Calendar, new crayons a bus ride.... Her answer was simple and quick. "The note in my lunch."

I guess I'll keep at it.

P.S. Just in case you've enjoyed a peaceful Sunday without needing to be somewhere at a certain time (Lovely day!) Don't forget the change to Daylight Savings Time. Don't ask me which way we go. I just know we fall. However, I've tried for 34 years to remember whether we fall back ( landing on my big badooba) or Fall Forward (tripping and landing on my knees.) I fall so often, forward and back (Just call me Grace) I get this all confused. Hope you aren't late .... er... early, for wherever you need to be.