A slideshow presentation in memory of my father.
David Wright Austin
May 27, 1938 - November 26, 2009
is pretty used to hearing, “let me finish this or that and then I’ll read you that story, help you find that toy, or just come be with you.”
It was fun time with my Mom holding my hand through the process and they turned 
out! I also love them because I was making a mountain scene with a river and when you look at it upside down it looks like some kind of goofy guy with a mustache snorkeling. I love goofy stuff like that. 
made something like it for me and my three 
sisters. Her Mom had made a doll for her and each of her sisters when they were small. When her Mom died her Dad took the dolls and kept them for them so they wouldn’t get ruined. Until her sister’s passed away they would get together periodically and have tea parties with the dolls. I also want to make them both ABC quilts modeled after one my Mom made for me when I was young. My oldest loves the alphabet.
I’ve made a couple pairs of moccasins a baby pair and an Plains Indian Style (which was a first for me) for a special birthday for one of my nephews. I also made a laminated list with magnets on the back with all the birthdays in our
family for each family. Handy little reference when you need to know whose birthday it is. Most recently I made a felt “lunch” with a couple of bean bags as a birthday gift. I also attempted a flax-filled heating pad--it should be up under the nightmare projects, I still don’t know what the receiver thought of the 7 pound awkward thing, but I have a pretty good idea that it wasn’t good. I hope he fed the flax to his chickens or something.
Chiska is a dear friend I first met in a feminist literature class, and then later became closer friends as roommates in London. She is an ideal travel companion!
and sprinkle them down on me so I would know how much I was loved. She never got a chance to do that, but she tasked my mother with completing the “snowflakes” and she in turn sent them to my husband who did the sprinkling while I cried.
Three stained glass pieces, a 
tulip, a fish and a girl walking under an umbrella, and frame made from beach glass she collected and some glass that my husband and I had collected at an abandoned coal mine.
Another piece that it multi-generational is a picture with a piece of cotton tucked into a “vase” of material that one of my ancestors wove for her son.
we call ice beads. They’re faceted beads that catch the light marvelously and truly look like ice. The dress is self is simple. She made a collar, cuffs and an octopus bag. The star-like piece is our interpretation of a mariner’s compass, the flowers are forget-me-nots and of course snowflakes. I like to use my bag now in object lessons because to look at it, it’s different and interesting, but nothing special. When you shine a concentrated light on it, it’s amazing. It truly makes you catch your breath. My brother, Me, Wade @ Mendenhall Glacier
grandbabies--these are my baby girls
t ceramics. It has lupines painted on it and says, “More beautiful because you came.” I love how lupine leaves catch water in their center like diamonds. 
y mom in a torrential downpour. (Nagoon berries grow very close to the ground so you have to bend over to pick them) He says that just as the rain really started coming down and he was sure it couldn’t get any worse he heard my Mom say in an excited voice, “Look!” She was looking at the droplet of water that the lupine leaves had caught. She’s like that, always looking for the good and beautiful even in the midst of misery.
I also have a piece of carved wood that my youngest brother carved for me. It’s a totem of sorts with the masks of comedy and tragedy with a rose on the top. It’s a curved piece--stick really that has a beak at one end and the carved “totem” as it were on the other. It was just something that he’d done to keep busy, but I loved it because of a writing project I’d just completed titled The Rose Connection about my sisters and I. He gave it to me after a debate about whether or not he would sell it to me. I love it now in part because he’s gone and it gives me a little piece of him to keep. 
I have a painting my grandmother made. I don’t know when my grandmother started painting, but I think it was later in life. I love this one particularly because an aunt and uncle gave it up so that I could have it. 
A story my husband wrote for me while we were dating and had is 7 year-old niece illustrate. How can you not love a man that would take the time to do that?!
Are you still with me? Last one I promise. My mother-in-law made an incredible cross-stitch of a World War 2 plane. She made it for my husband who bought the pattern for her. She in turn altered it so that it would match the plane that his Dad was a tail gunner in during the war. It’s representative to me of the special bond that my husband has with his mother and it’s amazing.
Do you think of yourself as a creative person--and good at it too?
I’ve only just started to think of myself as a creative person. Do I think I’m good at it? That depends on what I’m doing. I’m a great at cross stitch and I like it. I do pretty well with moccasins…the baby ones. I make a very nice origami lily. I love to try and make things work. I’m exploring that part of me more. It’s hard for me to slow down and try to do things well sometimes because I’m anxious to see the outcome. There’s nothing that “fills” me as much as completing a project…especially with help from my family. I love that!
What does it mean to you to be creative? How do you value this?
It means I get a chance to make or do something unique to me that connects me to others.
It’s a way for me to interact with others, to express my love and appreciation. It’s a way to honor my pioneer ancestor’s resourcefulness. I love it when I can make something from things I have “on hand”.
It’s a way for me to connect with my children and husband. Sometimes my little boy will climb up on my lap and sew with me as a break from his playing. (I have a needle guard so there’s no danger of him hurting himself) I love that closeness and he feels involved in a grownup project which he loves. My husband is great at helping me lay things out (as in quilts--2 so far) balancing color and shape. He’s also a great editor. It’s been fun for us to collaborate.
It also gives me a way to produce something when my job as a full time Mom gives me very little that lasts longer than a few minutes in the way of tactile accomplishment.
It gives me a space separate from my kids. My circumstances are such that true “breaks” from my kids aren’t frequent so I create breaks by encouraging their independence so I can work on a project--even if that’s only a few minutes.
My “studio” really a corner of our dining room
What kind of handmade objects are you working on right now?
Currently a wall quilt, some felt food, a cross stitch, a writing project that I’m trying to make time for and a pair of moccasins (well 2 pair actually--one of my very best friends got married 18 years ago and they’re supposed to be their wedding gift. I tried to get out of it, but her husband won’t let me.)
Working on can be loosely interpreted. I usually have a list a mile long and projects in various stages hanging about.
[L to R: Wall Quilt, Cross Stitch, What I Write With]
I love art, so pictures that “speak” to me get picked up from calendars, cards, posters, original work, photographs (my husband’s a great landscape photographer).
Leaves, rocks--I once carried a rock that I named Herbert 3 miles. When I was traveling a lot I’d pick up flowers and leaves and press them. I made a book and put them in it so I could remember some of those fun times.
earrings. That still makes me laugh.
I tried some crocheting for a while with some cheap yarn that someone else gave me--it’s a pile of cheap yarn so I thought I would make a multicolored who cares what happens with it afghan type of thing from what I remembered learning as a kid (with a few tips from passersby) It’s miserable, but it kept my hands busy when I couldn’t do much else. Can anyone tell me how to keep your edges straight?
Brent feels so so so lucky to have married Kory.The key to setting up single people is to remember is that they aren't single because they can't get married, they're single because they've chosen not to get married. The most offensive thing you can do to someone that's single is offer to set them up with someone else simply because the other person happens to be single too. Like they're going to jump at the opportunity to date just anybody, because they're that pathetic. If you want to set two friends up tell them why you want to set them up with each other- talk about personality, looks, career and most importantly why you think they'd like each other.
If you want to take it a step further you can do the 'sneaky' set up. Throw a small dinner party inviting a number of single people including the two you'd like to meet- don't pair anyone off just have a nice social gathering and see if they hit it off. I wanted my best friend (Amy) to meet my neighbor (Kyle) so I had a dinner party. I invited my neighbor enticing him to come under the pretense that I was setting him up, but
I told him I was setting him up with Jina. That way when he met Amy there were no expectations, no weirdness and they hit it off. I also had the foresight to NOT invite his roommate that was a total flirt and I knew would monopolize Amy and she wouldn't even get to know Kyle. Now Amy and Kyle have 2 kids.
The intense instantaneous love for something you've spent no more than 5 minutes with.
Ah, I see I've done a good job of deceiving you all. News is my addiction, and my mother taught me at a very young age to question authority, so I rarely hear anything political with out questioning it. Then when I start seeing the flaws in what leaders or society is doing I get angry and I need to vent- hence my blog. Hmm...I don't think I answered your question: yes and yes. Yes it comes naturally but yes it takes a lot of time too.
There are two kinds of people that share their opinions, those that think they are always right and those that aren't afraid to be wrong. Almost all men fall into one of those two categories. It's women that take disagreements far too personally. Ever noticed how two men can have an argument and then 2 seconds later be friends? It's that same trait that allows them to express their opinions with out fear. Women need to get over taking disagreements personally- and not be afraid to be wrong.Where can we get information on politics? The media is so mixed up and I don’t really know who to trust. And sometimes I am not sure how I feel about politics. Please tell us what we can do to get informed.
Television: I love Lou Dobbs & Glenn Beck (but I can only watch Glenn for about 15 minutes at a time)
Internet: Drudge report, CNN.com, Foxnews.com.
Radio: NPR.
Magazines: Forbes, Business Week, Time, and the Economist.
I try to get information from both sides of the political table so I can form an opinion. I actually hate Time magazine- but I don't believe in just receiving information from those that agree with me.
Finally, what if your sweet daughter grows up to be a cheerleading bling girl?Um, I don't cook. We eat a lot of cereal. I can't recall ever making a meal that took longer than 20 minutes to throw together.Brent, Kory, and their little bundle of joy.
LOL! My roommates which were former cheerleaders, having suffered through much mocking, would be delighted. I'd let her join cheerleading on certain conditions:..................................
1. She'd have to get straight A's in school.
2. She'd have to play a sport.
3. She'd have to learn a musical instrument.
4. She'd have to shoot a deer each year with her dad.
Complicated Costumes: Jeff as CORNED BEEF (see the corn around his neck?), Mindy as a kissable Irish beauty pageant contestant.
What score did you get on the quiz? (below)
14/17, but I'm calling Shenanigans on this thing. I missed 4, but St. Patrick was a missionary = teacher. Right? Right? and I also missed 6. I have NEVER heard any of those nicknames. I also missed the Shepherd's Pie one. No clue on that.
{Jeff, Mindy took the quiz too. Just a little friendly competition. And the ones you got wrong? She got them right! Her score 13/17. I think she'll beat you on the quiz you'll be having at your St. Patty's Party. Watch out.}
Any movie recommendations for a little Irish flavor? Disney, old fashioned, or recent?
Darby O'Gill and the Little People (the Banshee comes out there... another Irish mythological spirit), Waking Ned Divine is a recent one that is pretty funny.
Anything else you like to add?
If you ever have the choice to visit either Scotland, or Ireland (people always compare the two), do yourself a favor: Go to Ireland. One of the most beautiful and friendly countries in Europe.
St. Patrick's Day & Irish Themed QUIZ:
1. T/F St Patrick is not Irish.
2. St Patrick lived during:
a) 500’s-600’s AD
b) 300’s -400’s AD
c) 800’s – 900’s AD
d) 1100’s -1200’s AD
3. The famous legend of St Patrick includes which theme:
a) Leprechauns
b) gold
c) fairies
d) angles
e) snakes
4. St Patrick was a:
a) farmer
b) teacher
c) priest
d) governor
5. A leprechaun is really an Irish:
a) shoemaker
b) thief
c) little person (PC for “midget”)
d) magician
6. What is Ireland’s nickname:
a) The Emerald Isle
b) The Old Sod
c) Four Green Fields
d) The Bower
e) all of the above
7. According to Irish legends, where do fairies keep the Brides and Babies that they kidnap? (sweet dreams, kids!)
a) In to the forests
b) Inside fairy mounds
c) Caves in the mountains
d) Under bridges
8. A popular Irish dish: shredded cabbage, minced onions, mashed potatoes & melted butter, is known as:
a) Mulligatawny
b) Shepherds’ Pie
c) Colcannon
d) Fairy Stew
9. Kissing the Blarney Stone is supposed to give you what?
a) Lustrous Lips from the dewy rock
b) Good luck in love
c) Dispel shyness and improve eloquence in speech
d) Good health
10. What is the common Irish symbol that represents the Trinty?
a) The shamrock
b) The three isles of the sea
c) Three doves
d) A potato, cobbler stone, and staff
11. Why does a leprechaun wear green?
a) Love and loyalty to the color of Ireland
b) To stay camouflaged
c) For good luck
d) Because it complements red hair so nicely
12. Irish Whisky made from potatoes is called?
a) Poteen
b) Moonshine
c) Tater shots
d) Potate-Ale
13. The first St Patrick’s Day parade was held during the American Revolution in which city?
a) New York
b) Philadelphia
c) Washington D.C.
d) Boston
14. T/F Shamrock and Clover are the same thing.
15. The Irish are said to have brought this breakfast to America:
a) oatmeal
b) pancakes
c) Irish muffins
d) Lucky Charms cereal
16. What is in an Irish Coffee?
17. T/F The Potato is native to Ireland?
Answers:
1. True, his father was Italian, and he was either born in Scotland or Wales (conflicting info)
2. b
3.e, legend has it that St. Patrick drove all the snakes off the island of Ireland, and they drowned in the sea. Probably not true, but there are no native snakes in Ireland.
4.c
5. a, shoemaker that is supposedly really rich and mean
6. e, all of them are nicknames
7. b, and some farmers to this day will not disturb "fairy mounds" in their fields for fear of stirring up the spirits of those kidnapped and hidden there.
8. c. Colcannon
9. c "the gift of gab"
10. a
11. b
12. a
13. d, Boston in 1737
14. Depends on who you talk to, the Irish claim they are different, but the clover which grows in America is claimed by botonists to be the same plant with varied leaves and flowers
15. a
16. coffee and whisky. WHOO-WEE!
17. False
How did you score? Have any St. Patrick's Day plans?
JulianHave you ever met someone and within the first 20 minutes of knowing them, you know you'll be friends for life? This is how I felt about Joy Drake Silver, whom I met when we were working for an internet start-up in San Francisco back in 1998. She was my best friend at work and I learned (and continue to learn) so much from her. Joy married her soul mate, Scott, and a few years later they welcomed their first child, adorable Gigi. In October of last year, via emergency C-section, Joy delivered their second child, son Julian, almost 3 months premature. They have spent over 130 days in the hospital with Julian and still have many challenges ahead of them. Joy is an amazing woman and I know if anyone can come out of this trial stronger, she will.
Please briefly describe the events at the end of your pregnancy and these past months since the birth of Julian. What is his current status and what are the best/worst case scenarios for the future?
My pregnancy had many warning signs, blood clots in my legs in the first trimester, flunking the Nuchal screen between weeks 11-18 and being flagged for downs syndrome (cleared all genetic issues with amnio), ultrasounds where the baby’s size didn’t match the dates and he just seemed too small, and then at 25 weeks spiking high blood pressure out of the blue. My OB/GYN dismissed every warning sign along the way.
My intuition, and my friend Bonnie who had experienced Preeclampsia herself, screamed at me to get help. With the help of my internist who was alarmed as well, I went to see a high-risk specialist who told me at week 26 that I was in danger and my baby’s life was in danger. That it wasn’t safe to fly anywhere and to stay off my feet. I had Preeclampsia (also called Toxemia) and he was hoping he could get me to 32 weeks. I have been living in a crisis mode/ fear place ever since then, which was almost six months ago.
Eventually, it was essential to hospitalize me and watch the baby’s and my health. I made it to 29 weeks and 3 days. Jules, who was due on Christmas, was instead born 10/10/2008 weighing 1.5 pounds, the size of a 25-week-old baby, because my placenta could not get him the nutrition he needed to grow.
He has been in the hospital ever since. He now weighs 8.5 pounds, is about 130 days old or 8 weeks adjusted, has been diagnosed with severe lung disease (Also called chronic lung disease and Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia). Finally, after four months in the ICU unit, he has made it to the pediatrics floor at Children’s Hospital.
Julian on day 2The worst case scenario for his future would be having to intubate him and sedate him so that he wouldn’t have to struggle to breathe anymore and then give him a tracheostomy. This would mean some developmental setbacks and heartache/hardship for us.
The best case scenario would be if he could wean his dependence on diuretics to pull fluid from his lungs, switch his feeding tube to his tummy from his intestine, and convince his body to require less oxygen support, which in the best case would take seven weeks with the countdown beginning after he had been stable for a week or two, which hasn’t happened yet.
What is a typical day for you and Julian? How are you caring for Gigi and taking care of regular life (bills, appointments, laundry)?
A typical day for me is getting Gigi (age 4) off to pre-school at eight, and then going to the hospital all day, until it is time to pick Gigi up at three. We are taking care of Gigi by not altering her routine. I still take her to school and pick her up most days, we have family dinner every night, and she is over programmed on the weekend with swimming, music, and ski school with her dad so that she doesn’t notice I am at the hospital and not with her as much. After putting Gigi to bed, Scott goes to the hospital after dinner each night to give Jules his bath and put him to bed.
Gigi turned 4 while Julian was in the hospitalI have not figured out how to take care of appointments or stay on top of paperwork.
My day at the hospital includes some of the nice things about taking care of a new baby, changing diapers, playing with him, singing to him, and moving him from the swing, to the bouncy chair, to his bed, and rocking him to sleep. I just do all those things with a lot of cords/tubes/wires attached. The thing I miss the most when taking care of him is the bonding that occurs with nursing or bottle feeding. Not being able to feed him and look in his eyes while providing that has made me feel very empty.
Jules has had great Physical/occupational therapists. Jan at University of Washington helped make sure he didn’t develop an oral aversion by working with him and his pacifier to keep him inerested in it. When we moved to Children’s hospital he met Keren, who his is daily PT/OT. I call her the baby whisperer, which embarrasses her, but I really think it is true. She has taught me so much about how to connect with him and care for him despite the medical scenario.
I discuss his care with the nurses, meet with respiratory folks, doctors, and specialists all throughout the day and then tuck him back in bed or trade-off with our nanny when it is time to leave.
I am very lonely a lot of my time at the hospital. Most of my friends work during the day or have small children, so they can’t visit me. My social isolation can be piercing. It is really nice when someone just stops by and drinks a cup of coffee, even for just twenty minutes. The worst part is that I am too exhausted mentally to even handle the time and effort it would take to arrange for someone to visit me.
Day 46, what a sweetie!
Who are you leaning on? Tell us about your circle of friends and family, what they have done for you and what you’ve most appreciated. What can people do to help, and what questions should people ask you?
I am leaning on anyone who will let me lean on them, including a trauma therapist and a regular therapist = ) Our family has been supportive and has flown in to help, especially to spoil Gigi and shower her with attention when we couldn’t send a lot of energy her way. Our community and friends have helped us connect with the right doctors (Dani and Rebecca), get us to the right hospital (Dani and Mark), and now when we really need it, helped make meals for us (lots of lovely people).When we had the emergency C-section, my friend Irene picked Gigi up from school and Gigi had her first sleepover with her friend and Irene’s daughter, Hannah. Gigi had the time of her life and associates the night Julian was born with something very positive in her life. Irene and her husband have also stayed with Gigi at night while Scott and I pushed through tough times at night at the hospital.
sweet swaddled little guy
My next door neighbor Laura heard about what had happened and told me she wanted to help. She said she would rake my leaves all through the fall and would stay at our house any night with Gigi if Scott and I needed to be at the hospital. This really stands out for me because she told me exactly what she would do for us and did it.
A lot of people offer to help and say, “What can I do?” That is so hard for me to answer because I don’t want to ask someone to cook who doesn’t cook, or ask someone to help clean up my yard who hates that kind of thing. I don’t know what people can do and it is hard for my personality to ask for help.
Scott, Jules and Gigi at the hospital
The roughest part of the whole experience is right now. Now that the fear for the pregnancy is over, the C-section is over and Jules came out of the NICU to the pediatrics floor, four months have gone by and we know there is likely another 3 more coming. We are exhausted emotionally and physically and depleted. The pace of life is demanding. We don’t see each other as a family except for dinners and it seems daunting to look ahead. Jules seems to teeter on the edge of being shipped back to the NICU and intubated all the time and it is hard to keep a clear head.
Julian a few hours after birth
And now that I think about it, the other low point was just after the C-section. I don’t know if all people who have C-sections feel like this or if it had to do with the emergency nature of the situation, the trauma of the pregnancy, and/or how early and tiny Jules was, but I felt blindsided by the delivery. I had no idea it was coming so fast. I figured I had at least 3 more weeks of bedrest before they would do the C-section. And when it was over, I lay there feeling like someone had stolen my baby. They took him away to the NICU on a wheeling thing about fifteen feet away, which was the closest I ever got to him, and I couldn’t even raise my arm to wave goodbye. I wasn’t allowed to see him for two more days and I was just so sad. I mourned the loss of the pregnancy, the dreams I had of bringing home a baby, and when I saw him with jaundice goggles and intubated, the only part of his face I could see was his chin. I had no idea what he looked like and I wasn’t allowed to hold him for a long time. That was definitely a low point.
Jules keeps me motivated and inspired. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and thinking about how he fought to live inside me with no amniotic fluid and a dinky placenta, he fought to go from 1.5 pounds to 8.5 pounds, he fights to breathe every day, and he still has learned to smile and coo. He is truly an inspiration.
Jules getting some sun therapy
You converted to Judaism more than a decade ago. Does religious faith help you in this situation? In what way?
Yes, I think it has helped me stay grounded. I can’t get to services and was hospitalized for the most important religious holidays this year, but I say the same prayers over and over to Jules and myself for comfort. There is a Jewish prayer for healing that I know friends and families are mentioning Julian’s name for when it is said at their synagogues, and I believe in the power of prayer. At the worst turning points for Julian, when I have asked for prayers for him, I have felt like he was able to turn things around afterwards. I think Sally herself said at one point that we witnessed a miracle after one of those nights of praying.
Taking the time each week to observe Shabbat with Friday night dinner and have that dinner with Gigi and say the traditional blessings and stop working has been a nice connection with our former life and given me strength each week.
The pictures of baby Jules are adorable. Are you able to laugh and find joy during this time of stress and difficulty? Are there good things that have come from this experience?
Yes, I have been able to laugh and enjoy him and Gigi during this time. Scott and I have not been able to relax or go to a movie or anything like that though. We just can’t relax unless we are at the hospital. So we have some work to do on that front.
Maybe I will think differently about good things coming from this experience when I look back many years from now, but right now it feels too raw and painful to see much positive. I thought at first when I answered I would write about how it has brought me closer to certain friends who have really been there for me. And while this is true, I would rather have gotten closer to them through a positive experience instead.
What is your opinion of Julian’s medical care and how has your experience changed how you think about medicine?
I am pretty angry about medicine right now. I am furious over my experience with my original OB/GYN, who ignored even my internist’s concerns about my blood pressure. If I had let her be in charge, I am confidence that either Jules or myself or both wouldn’t be here right now.
The hospitals are so busy and the doctors so overworked. I have lost my faith that doctors will look out for Julian and do the right thing. They barely have time to read his chart and often have facts about him completely wrong. It is stressful to realize how critical Scott’s and my one hundred percent intellectual dedication to his medical case has been.
We have had twenty five attending doctors in the past five months. Four of them I would trust if I had to go out of town to keep Jules stable. Eight of them did not make much of an impression. The rest scared me, not because they were bad doctors, but because they were too busy to give Julian’s case the thought it deserved.
The most ridiculous anecdote I can share about medicine is that when Jules was diagnosed with severe lung disease, he was at a Level 3 NICU, which is the most serious type. We were at University of Washington where all the babies from Idaho, Washington, Oregon, Alaska, and Montana are flown who are the most sick. Over time, Jules turned into one of the sickest kids on “the unit,” as they called it. But, they had no pediatric lung specialists there and could not convince one from Children’s hospital to come see Jules. It took Scott’s and my complete dedication, help from friends, community, and constant hyper-vigilance to get Jules out of that hospital and over to Children’s hospital where they actually have doctors who can treat him!
How do you advocate for Jules? Have you ever had to stand up to a doctor or nurse? Also, on your blog, I’ve read the phrase “going on rounds”—what does that mean?
Rounds occur in the morning when the entire medical team responsible for caring for the baby meets in a conference room or at bedside to discuss his care and plans for the day. This means the attending doctor (the one in charge), the residents/interns, fellows, nurses, respiratory therapists, nutritionists, coordinators, physical therapists, etc… I cried the first time I went to rounds and realized it took fifteen people to keep my baby alive.
Scott and I have to advocate for Jules every day. We have had to stand up to many doctors and very rarely, a nurse. The nurses have also been good advocates for Julian.
Do you ever have 'why me, why my baby?' days? How do you get over those feelings and move on?
No, I don’t. Scott has had a lot of this. I think it will hit me after it is all over. Sometimes, I remember when Gigi was four months old and nearly died when a urinary tract infection spread to a kidney infection and then she went septic, all within twelve hours. And I feel a little sorry for myself that I have not been able to enjoy the infancy state with my children without such fear. Holding your really sick baby and willing him/her to live is not something I would wish for anyone. But in the end, I have to be there for Gigi and for Jules and a pity party isn’t going to help any of us. I try to focus on rewards in the future, like when Jules is off oxygen, going on a trip to San Diego with Scott’s parents like we did when Gigi was first born. Or imagining and visualizing Jules being home with us.
What advice do you have for families with preemies or new babies with compromised health?
Get involved with your child’s medical care right away. Learn everything you can and advocate. Your child needs you and you CANNOT rely on the medical team to take care of him/her alone. When people tell you having a preemie will put you on a rollercoaster, they don’t really say what that means. It means that you will never feel safe. You will always be worried a new shoe will drop. You will pray, worry, fret, and agonize. Get help as soon as you can because it snowballs really quickly. You can’t do it alone and as humbling as it is to ask people to help you, you need to do it and will feel better for it.
Also if you can’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of your baby. So get the sleep you need so you don’t get sick. They will not let you in to see or take care of your baby if you even look like you might sneeze. So, take care of yourself. You have to sleep, eat, and even get your hair cut. Even if you don’t want to do so.
Gigi and Julian
I feel like I don’t get to see as much of Gigi and don’t know her as well as I did before this happened. I don’t know how much of that would be the same if I brought home a newborn though. I have been impressed with Gigi’s ability to adapt and cope and how sweet she is with Julian. She longs for him to be home too.
Thanks, Joy, for sharing Julian's story with us. We hope that he will continue to gain weight, start breathing like a champ, and come home soon. You can read more about sweet baby Julian's progress at the Silver's blog about him.
