Showing posts with label How-to. Show all posts
Showing posts with label How-to. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

How to: ER version.

By Melissa



I always wondered what you would do if you had to take your child to the emergency room. Would you hop in the car, blood spurting, leg bending backwards and race as fast as you can? Maybe. We luckily haven't had those kind of emergencies. My pediatrician told me once about a woman who was convinced she could get her baby to the ER faster than waiting for an ambulance, it was the wrong choice-- Don't try this, paramedics know what they are doing and can do it while driving- you can't. If it is truly life and death, get the help you or your loved one needs.

However, over the past 11 years of parenting we've logged in more than our fair share of non-life threatening but Emergency Room worthy hospital time. After this past weeks visit I thought, "I'm getting good at this! I should blog about it!" So, here are my tips for "enjoying" your E.R./ hospital stay.

If you do have time, it is worth taking 5 minutes before rushing out the door to grab a few things. These are my essentials:
  1. A blanket for the child, hospitals think a sheet is a blanket! Something cozy and familiar makes sleeping somewhere foreign much nicer. Also, binkies, teddy bear, American Girl Dolls. ;) Whatever is their "lovey".
  2. Clean clothes for you both (really, you are likely to get bled on, puked on, spilled on, or end up staying longer than you expected and want to freshen up.) Don't forget dry underwear for your kiddo. Honestly, even the child that never has accidents, when there is an I.V., new meds can surprise you... it is worth it to have extras.
  3. Cozy socks and a sweater. Hospitals are cold year round, especially at night!
  4. Glasses/contact case, make up or at least lip gloss
  5. Insurance info and cell phone (this probably should be closer to the top, but they have all this stuff already!)
  6. entertainment. We "frequent" a children's hospital (one of the best!) but even still, it is nice to have some books, stickers, coloring stuff, nintendo ds....
  7. Entertainment for you and maybe some snacks. Your child will not be able to eat till a doctor ok's it, but you might get hungry and might not want to leave your child alone to track down a candy bar... (I'm thinking I might be the only one who can't go anywhere without packing enough food in her purse to not be starving... I take food everywhere, so maybe skip this and go to number 8.)
  8. Money for vending machines! :)
Alright, here are my tips for surviving once you are there.
  1. Be really nice. It pays. People are nice to you when you are nice to them. It would seem logical, but when you are stressed sometimes it is easy to over react about little things.
  2. Listen to the names of the people who are caring for your child. Repeat them and use them. This isn't' just nice, but helps when "Mary" comes in to start an i.v. and you can say "Anne" just said we were going for x-rays before putting in the iv. Or whatever. It helps.
  3. Ask questions and write things down. You are your child's advocate! Make sure you understand what is happening.
  4. Eat! Our hospital lets you buy meals to be delivered with your child's. They are reasonably priced, but I tend to "over order" for her not knowing what she would eat, then I finish it off. I think my husband orders a meal of his own... either way, it is important to not be starving! (again, I'm probably just going back to that irrational fear of going hungry... do what works for you!)
  5. Once your child is settled, get your own needs met. This past week we were spending the night in the emergency observation department. There was a stretcher for my girl and a chair for me. Not even a soft chair. I cheerfully asked if there was anything more comfortable I could sit on and they brought in a lovely chair/bed thingy. So much nicer for the next 18 hours!

Last of all, It is all about Perspective. We've driven to the emergency room, we've taken ambulances, we've even arrived in a helicopter, but each time, it only takes a minute to realize how blessed we are to be able to get such outstanding care. This week, I watched at least 4 stretchers being wheeled in, kids with neck braces, hustling paramedics and sobbing parents trailing after them. There is just something about a Children's Hospital... if you think your life stinks, go, walk around for an hour and count your many blessings.

Friday, November 20, 2009

You look fabulous!

by Sally

Well, you really do look fabulous. But if you are like me, you could look even more fabulous.

Although I was voted "Best Dressed" in junior high (yes, it's true), I am not a trendy person. Somehow I now have significantly less time for and interest in clothing than I did when I was 14. I tend to wear the same things over and over again, and I don't accessorize well or keep up with new trends. I don't even think about it, but I do want to look good. I need fashion help!

Enter a blog I recently found: YouLookFab. The title of a recent post was "Autumn Mom on the Go: flop proof outfit #6". Now that is a headline that draws me in! I have no idea what they mean by flop proof, but I can think of some possibilities. Maybe this is an outfit that won't look like:
  • I just flopped out of bed
  • I am about to flop down on the couch and watch a soap opera in the middle of the day
  • My yoga pants and pullover are flopping all over the place

These "flop proof" posts include a specific formula for creating an outfit. A non-flop outfit. I can use this kind of instruction! As I write this, I am wearing flop proof outfit #1. I like it. And I would welcome any other outfit formulas you might have to offer.

Also check here for women I admire who know how to dress: Diane, Jessica, and Paige. If you blog about fashion, post your url in our comments!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Do Something Nice For Your Husband

by Emily

Or, if you don't have a husband, do something nice for someone who plays a major role in your life.

For me, the something nice is sometimes just a cheerful smile and can-do attitude. Sometimes its a house that is quickly picked up and dinner ready to go when he gets home from work, topped off with a cheerful, "Daddy's home! Yay!" (*kissy kissy hug hug squeeze*)


About 4 years ago when I was practicing my new role as a SAHM, I decided that for a week straight I would make a deliberate effort to do 3 things each evening when my husband arrived home from work (school):

1. Have the family room and kitchen picked up (just a quick 10 minute pick-up)
2. Have dinner made, or nearly made, when my husband got home (this was new, prior to this we had both been working hard equally outside the home, so dinner was a coin-toss and usually ended up with each-man-for-himself)
3. When he walked in the door: STOP what I was doing, GIVE him a kiss and a squeeze, LOOK him in the eye, and SAY something heartfelt ("I missed you!" "I'm so glad you're home!" "How has your day been?" "My favorite time of day is when you come home!") and LISTEN to him.

Every misguided feminist part of me resisted doing this--terribly. It was so...so...so Dr. Laura. So subservient-housewifish. I felt like I was too good to be relegated to this kind of servitude.

Luckily for me (and my family) I've learned a lot more about service since that time. What a week of marital bliss! I don't do that every evening anymore, but I am more consistent with dinner, and I understand what a difference those things make. I could go on about how it changed the feeling in our home when I did that experiment, I could go on about the miracle of love and service.

It's a good reminder to myself to recommit to those that I love most in life. I wonder what my next experiment should be? Oh yeah...going to bed at 9pm each night. I'm working on that. It's a good one too.

Have you ever done an experiment like this? What has taken you years to find out about your spouse/roommates/co-workers/parents/etc? I really, truly, sincerely want to know. Please share (you might inspire someone)!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

Most people wouldn't call me a sexpert even though I am very good at sex.

I've talked to my kids about sex. I wanted them to hear it from me before they heard it at school. I want them to look at me as the expert on all things, including sex, so they can ask me the questions that most parents dread hearing. I want them to have their own knowledge, opinion, and information when they are exposed to their classmate's views on sex so that it won't be a big deal. I want them to view sex as a beautiful private gift between husband and wife and empower them to control their bodies and respect their sexual power.

So I try to be pretty open about it. Use the right names for body parts, answer questions about making out, oral sex, masturbation, what ever they need to know, I want them to ask me. Now, don't be thinking that my kids are comfortable bringing this up - they never mention it. We have to start the discussion every time and it isn't easy.

Knowledge is power, baby. But there can be too much of a good thing.



Did you see this Oprah? When the sex therapist suggests introducing something to your 15 year old daughter, she is suggesting giving her a vibrator. Check out the link here.

What they don't show you in this clip is the teenage girl's reaction. She basically said that it wasn't right. Lots of moms said it wasn't right. I agree. Aren't we sexualizing our children enough without focusing on how to teach them to be more sexually active?

I'd love to see a follow up show on how to keep our children innocent and protect them. How to teach our daughter's that they don't need to hurry and grow up and buy into the sexual pressure they are getting from the world, and if Dr. Berman has her way, from their parents!

What bothers me the most about this is the idea that has been pushed for the last 30 years that "kids are going to do it anyway, so let's be as supportive and helpful as we can!". I can feel myself getting pretty worked up about this. So I will turn it over to you. What do you think? Would you buy your 15 year old daughter a vibrator? Why?

Last year, I posted a blog about how to talk to your kids about sex Click Here to read it.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Have some birthday fun!

by Emily

Is it weird to post a photo of yourself on your own birthday? Who cares! These are from favorite birthday parties of past (not mine). Robin assigned me this post today, so here you go: how to have fun on your birthday. You have to make your own fun, don't wait for it to happen to you!















Today is my 30th birthday. SO, today we (meaning: me, you, and your kids) are celebrating by going to Village Bakery for an oatmeal cookie at about 11:00am. I hope you can come. You ALL are invited. Surprise me and come!




Me making Joe's B'day cake, Barefoot Contessa Ina Garten's Coconut Cake, yum!












*DH has to work hard all day and into the evening. We'll celebrate later this week.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Part 2: Win Chiska's Give-Away!


Leave a Comment by April 14th (next week) for a chance to win a cool, creative, doable crafty gift from Chiska!




Dear Bossy Readers,
Here is some more hands-on advice and experience from my awesome friend, Chiska. Check out the cool suggestions and links for fun, simple, creative projects (even some that require NO sewing), and LEAVE A COMMENT for a chance to win our
Give-Away!

How do you prioritize your life so that you have time for your creative pursuits?

Well honestly, I drop lots of balls. I have a great husband who tries to help me have the time. The other thing is just fitting it into the few minutes here and there.

I keep projects in bags (that zip close--I do have curious children, but it helps) that way I can grab them and work on them when the kids are happily playing and have a few minutes. My son is pretty used to hearing, “let me finish this or that and then I’ll read you that story, help you find that toy, or just come be with you.”

When I get excited about something that’s when it’s the easiest. It’s more difficult to say I want to make something and be motivated to do it, than it is to see something specific and think, “Hmm I want to make a felt sandwich because it looks cool.” Then once I get started and I get really excited because hey I can make this!


What have been some of your favorite projects, some of your nightmarish projects?

I think one of my most favorite was making moccasins for my husband. They were my very first pair of adult moc’s. I used some of my mom’s “toe patterns” to create a design for the beading on the toe. It was fun time with my Mom holding my hand through the process and they turned out! I also love them because I was making a mountain scene with a river and when you look at it upside down it looks like some kind of goofy guy with a mustache snorkeling. I love goofy stuff like that.

I also loved learning to paint silk scarves--another Mom teaching me thing. It was an amazing process and pretty quick results.

Me painting a scarf



Nightmarish:

I think nearly every project has a nightmarish stage in it. For Christmas this lat year I made “picnic” blankets--small rectangles really for my brother’s girlfriend’s kids. I started in September and was really excited it was going to be a pretty simple project. Then of course I creatively made it more complicated. I appliquéd some animals on one and quilted crowns on another. Anyway, I thought I’d be able to sew up the sides pretty easily and after the 4th or 5th time of trying to make it look nice I just got mad and quit. They were very gracious about them, but that’s when I decided that using the machine as a time saving device--or trying to hurry to get something done was a bad idea.

How far in advance do you start thinking about/working on handmade gifts before they have to be given?
I usually pick something to make for someone and whenever I get it done--they get it.

The exception to that is Christmas. On my side of the family we take turns at Christmas time so we only have one family/person each year (there are 6 living kids and my Mom and Dad). That makes it easier. I like to think about it way in advance so I’m less stressed right before Christmas and I have time to mail it. I also have a quirk that says that it’s never too late for a gift. For example I had one of my brother’s for Christmas year before last. He got his gift from me right around April Fools Day. It was a quilt that I’d been working on for him off and on for about 7 years. I’d seen the fabric and thought he’s like it. I was also determined to make it big as I’d made him several blankets and they were always too small. I overcompensated, but it turned out great!

There are things that are quick to make so you can do them last minute.

Have you made anything special for your children while pregnant? Or since they've been born?

You know it’s kind of sad, but I haven’t made much for my kids. When I was pregnant I was so tired (both times) that I haven’t done much for them. I did make a book of pictures of Gram for my little guy so He’d remember her (she passed away two summers ago) I hadn’t realized this until recently when I made a scarf for him and he was so excited he couldn’t stand it.

I do have plans for a wall quilt for my tiny girl and I have some dolls that are in process--they’re my first attempt at dolls and look rather alien like--I call them awake and asleep dolls. My Mom made something like it for me and my three sisters. Her Mom had made a doll for her and each of her sisters when they were small. When her Mom died her Dad took the dolls and kept them for them so they wouldn’t get ruined. Until her sister’s passed away they would get together periodically and have tea parties with the dolls. I also want to make them both ABC quilts modeled after one my Mom made for me when I was young. My oldest loves the alphabet.

What handmade objects did you give for Christmas last year (or recently)?

I’ve already told you about the two small “picnic” blankets. I also made a “hug” blanket for my brother’s girlfriend (when asked what she wanted she said a hug would be just fine--so that’s what she got) I’ve made a couple pairs of moccasins a baby pair and an Plains Indian Style (which was a first for me) for a special birthday for one of my nephews. I also made a laminated list with magnets on the back with all the birthdays in our family for each family. Handy little reference when you need to know whose birthday it is. Most recently I made a felt “lunch” with a couple of bean bags as a birthday gift. I also attempted a flax-filled heating pad--it should be up under the nightmare projects, I still don’t know what the receiver thought of the 7 pound awkward thing, but I have a pretty good idea that it wasn’t good. I hope he fed the flax to his chickens or something.

Last Question: Do you have any suggestions of handmade objects that a beginner would feel is doable, and not too expensive?

Oh my favorite question! But it begs some return questions--what do you have? What do you want to do?


Sewing Machine Projects:

Rice Bag Feet Warmer http://adayinthelifeofthechristensons.blogspot.com/2009/02/tutorialrice-bag-feet-warmer.html

Faux Baby Legs
http://www.flickr.com/photos/babyhopes/sets/72157594274454468/
On this one if it seems complicated keep trying--it’s really not.

Lunch Sack--I’m adding this here, but it works great with felt food for a gift.
http://www.simplicity.com/index.cfmpage=section/classroom/sewprojects/lunchtote/lunchsack.html

Fabric beach balls
I haven’t tried these, but they look like they’d be fun so I’m adding them to the list.
http://www.purlbee.com/fabric-beach-balls/

Hand Sewing Projects:

Felt Food is amazing. This site is the best compilation I’ve found for how to info and patterns. Even the “high end” materials are relatively inexpensive and it’s just fun. For big kids, for little kids--you could make it for just about anybody.
http://www.keeperofthecheerios.com/2008/12/best-felt-food-patterns-from-around-web.html

Felt Sushi
http://hoogliart.wordpress.com/2007/08/08/felt-sushi-tutorial/

I thought this letters ideas was a cute one too--also felt related:
http://muffinsnmore.blogspot.com/2009/02/lovely-letters.html


No Sewing involved:


Button magnets: Buttons are so fun. I have an old cookie tin filled with buttons. I love running my fingers through them--that’s an idea too, make a button “box” for someone. Here’s an idea for magnets (among other things)
http://www.soulemama.com/soulemama/2009/03/button-it-up.html

A Journal--a book, not as hard it might sound.
http://www.jpgmag.com/stories/354

I recently saw a basket someone made from magazines by accordion folding each page and then wrapping them around each other (attaching them with a glue gun). You make a circle base and then overlap them slightly as you move them up to create the “walls”.

Look around your house and ask yourself what can I make with what’s around here?

What can I collect in the natural world?

Nature Printing:

On that point something that I just did recently as a preschool project was “nature printing” you can use felt tipped markers and/or an ink pad. You take a leaf--you’ll want a fairly malleable (not dried) one either color it (with the pens) or press it on the ink pad. Then stamp it onto paper. I used some dried Gingko leaves (strongly suggest if you have dried ones that you “re-hydrate” them) and markers and we had a blast! The fun thing with this one is that little kids and adults can do it. The results vary widely, but it’s fun for both.

Beads:
Something else I tried a couple years ago was making beads out of wood branches. I used willows, but I think any kind of tree would work. You snip the branches in whatever lengths you want your bead to be and then pound them through (lengthwise) with a nail about the girth of the hole you want. You can carve the bark if you want, I didn’t. I used a horse chestnut and some beads to make a present for a friend. I doubt she’ll ever wear it, but it was fun and she did like it.

If you know what you want to make, but don’t know how and don’t have anyone to ask then Google it. Chances are there’s someone on the web that will tell you how to make it.


Leave a Comment by April 14th (next week) for a chance to win a cool, creative, doable crafty gift from Chiska!

Part 1: Meet Chiska!

by Emily

Chiska is a dear friend I first met in a feminist literature class, and then later became closer friends as roommates in London. She is an ideal travel companion!

Chiska is probably one of my most creative and unique friends, and I love her so much. She has a sincere and generous heart. I want to introduce you, Bossy Readers, to her because she inspires me--and maybe she'll inspire you too! Leave a comment and you may even win her GIVE-AWAY! (it promises to be something cool and doable!)

If Chiska were a character from a book, for her I would choose Sarah Agnes Prine from These is My Words. This is because both Chiska and Sarah are pictures of beauty and strength--and Chiska has had her share of strengthening life experiences. But we won't focus on those experiences (including a newborn hospitalized for months with a life-threatening condition). No, instead I wanted to ask her about something of a much lighter nature: creative pursuits. Chiska finds beauty and interest in just about everything this world has to offer, and inturn inspires those who know her. And, she has a rockin' cool name. Meet Chiska:

You grew up in Alaska. How do you think that has influenced your creative pursuits?

I do more in the winter. Winter is the time for “hibernating” inside and making things. Summer is for outside playing as much as possible. I learned to make moccasins because of living there. The people I knew growing up were creative. I still want to be like them.

What are a few handmade objects that you treasure? What’s their story?

Oh dear, “a few”. It’s hard to pick just a few.

I have some lace that my Aunt Janet made. I actually have several pieces, a table cloth and a bunch of smaller “snowflakes”. The tablecloth she made for my wedding.

This was something that she did for almost everyone who got married. I didn’t expect that I would get a piece since she had been so ill. She had talked to my Mom about finishing it for her because she was having a very hard time doing it, but then decided she wanted to finish it. My Aunt Joy blocked and starched it for me. She said she knew that it was 90 inches because it took all 90 inches of her to get it blocked out. They’re both gone now and I love that memory.

The smaller pieces she made because she told me she wanted to sit me on a chair and sprinkle them down on me so I would know how much I was loved. She never got a chance to do that, but she tasked my mother with completing the “snowflakes” and she in turn sent them to my husband who did the sprinkling while I cried.

She also sent me a small piece of lace which I framed while I was struggling at school. She sent it just because “it wanted to come to your house”. And we (she and my uncle) want you to know that we love you. I still remember the lift it gave me at that difficult time.

I have a number of things my mother has made that I treasure. Three stained glass pieces, a tulip, a fish and a girl walking under an umbrella, and frame made from beach glass she collected and some glass that my husband and I had collected at an abandoned coal mine.

Another piece that it multi-generational is a picture with a piece of cotton tucked into a “vase” of material that one of my ancestors wove for her son.




She also made my wedding dress. It’s made of white leather and beaded with what we call ice beads. They’re faceted beads that catch the light marvelously and truly look like ice. The dress is self is simple. She made a collar, cuffs and an octopus bag. The star-like piece is our interpretation of a mariner’s compass, the flowers are forget-me-nots and of course snowflakes. I like to use my bag now in object lessons because to look at it, it’s different and interesting, but nothing special. When you shine a concentrated light on it, it’s amazing. It truly makes you catch your breath. My brother, Me, Wade @ Mendenhall Glacier

She always makes a pair of these for grandbabies--these are my baby girls
[Jealous Readers: Chiska made a boyish pair of these for my little guy. I LOVE them.]


I have a bowl that she made when she was trying her hand at ceramics. It has lupines painted on it and says, “More beautiful because you came.” I love how lupine leaves catch water in their center like diamonds.

My Mom has something she calls whisper diamonds--moments that you catch as they come into your life through all the other muck that we have to wade through. There’s a story my Dad tells of picking nagoon berries with my mom in a torrential downpour. (Nagoon berries grow very close to the ground so you have to bend over to pick them) He says that just as the rain really started coming down and he was sure it couldn’t get any worse he heard my Mom say in an excited voice, “Look!” She was looking at the droplet of water that the lupine leaves had caught. She’s like that, always looking for the good and beautiful even in the midst of misery.
Lupine leaf w/ water droplet

When I returned to Alaska as an adult I’d told her I loved lupines. She told me that she didn’t like the flowers--which shocked me. So I told her what I’ve just told you. Her response was my bowl.


I have two wonderful quilts that my elementary school librarian has made quilts for each of my kids. The most recent is a fun storybook quilt.


I also have a piece of carved wood that my youngest brother carved for me. It’s a totem of sorts with the masks of comedy and tragedy with a rose on the top. It’s a curved piece--stick really that has a beak at one end and the carved “totem” as it were on the other. It was just something that he’d done to keep busy, but I loved it because of a writing project I’d just completed titled The Rose Connection about my sisters and I. He gave it to me after a debate about whether or not he would sell it to me. I love it now in part because he’s gone and it gives me a little piece of him to keep.
I have a painting my grandmother made. I don’t know when my grandmother started painting, but I think it was later in life. I love this one particularly because an aunt and uncle gave it up so that I could have it. A story my husband wrote for me while we were dating and had is 7 year-old niece illustrate. How can you not love a man that would take the time to do that?!

Are you still with me? Last one I promise. My mother-in-law made an incredible cross-stitch of a World War 2 plane. She made it for my husband who bought the pattern for her. She in turn altered it so that it would match the plane that his Dad was a tail gunner in during the war. It’s representative to me of the special bond that my husband has with his mother and it’s amazing.


Do you think of yourself as a creative person--and good at it too?

I’ve only just started to think of myself as a creative person. Do I think I’m good at it? That depends on what I’m doing. I’m a great at cross stitch and I like it. I do pretty well with moccasins…the baby ones. I make a very nice origami lily. I love to try and make things work. I’m exploring that part of me more. It’s hard for me to slow down and try to do things well sometimes because I’m anxious to see the outcome. There’s nothing that “fills” me as much as completing a project…especially with help from my family. I love that!

What does it mean to you to be creative? How do you value this?

It means I get a chance to make or do something unique to me that connects me to others.

It’s a way for me to interact with others, to express my love and appreciation. It’s a way to honor my pioneer ancestor’s resourcefulness. I love it when I can make something from things I have “on hand”.

It’s a way for me to connect with my children and husband. Sometimes my little boy will climb up on my lap and sew with me as a break from his playing. (I have a needle guard so there’s no danger of him hurting himself) I love that closeness and he feels involved in a grownup project which he loves. My husband is great at helping me lay things out (as in quilts--2 so far) balancing color and shape. He’s also a great editor. It’s been fun for us to collaborate.

It also gives me a way to produce something when my job as a full time Mom gives me very little that lasts longer than a few minutes in the way of tactile accomplishment.

It gives me a space separate from my kids. My circumstances are such that true “breaks” from my kids aren’t frequent so I create breaks by encouraging their independence so I can work on a project--even if that’s only a few minutes.

My “studio” really a corner of our dining room

What kind of handmade objects are you working on right now?

Currently a wall quilt, some felt food, a cross stitch, a writing project that I’m trying to make time for and a pair of moccasins (well 2 pair actually--one of my very best friends got married 18 years ago and they’re supposed to be their wedding gift. I tried to get out of it, but her husband won’t let me.)

Working on can be loosely interpreted. I usually have a list a mile long and projects in various stages hanging about.



[L to R: Wall Quilt, Cross Stitch, What I Write With]

It's easy to let things get in the way of pursuing creative projects: the dishes need to be done, it costs money, I have no uninterrupted time, I don't know how, where do I start, I want to--but checking my email and blogs is easier to do and instantly gratifying, I'm just plain exhausted!...are these things you struggle with?

Absolutely! Some of my struggles are different from yours but distractions and exhaustion often get in the way. I find I go in cycles. Usually the winter time is a more of a creative production time for me.

The implied question here is how do I work around those excuses? One way is to make friends with people that I know make things. It’s been my experience that people who make like to share their skill. Not everyone certainly, but lots of people. Ask around. My Mom makes moccasins and is willing to teach anyone who wants to learn. So far no one has ever taken her up on her offer of coming by the house and learning. Make time for that. I also think that it’s creative to read blogs. I’ve gotten lots of great ideas from places online. It takes time to seek good things so remember that it’s ok to be reading.

Did your creative pursuits take a back seat when your little guy was born and spent the first part of his life in the hospital--or were you able to do things during that time, was it a good outlet?

Take a back seat? Absolutely they took a back seat. I did make a pair of baby moccasins toward the end of our time at the hospital. It gave me something to do when we couldn’t do much else. Ironically we were more involved in his care at that time than earlier on, but I just wasn’t up to much before that. When we brought him home he was on dialysis from about 5:30 p.m. until 5:30 a.m. I would come home from work and play and interact with him for about a half an hour and then we would “put him on” and have the evening to do things. It was great for my husband and me. We would visit and work on things--well he’d read and I’d craft. It was a great way of coping for me at that time. You always think when you’re going through something difficult that it’s hard to go through, but for me the aftermath has been more difficult. Some of that may be that there is no after in aftermath, but it is much calmer now and things are much more stable.

What sort of objects do you collect? (I know about your children's books, and now, placemats--which is such a great idea! Tell us about those, and others as well.)

Somehow in my youth I decided that I needed to collect things so I think I collect anything I can.
I love art, so pictures that “speak” to me get picked up from calendars, cards, posters, original work, photographs (my husband’s a great landscape photographer).
Original Oil by friend, Gwen Toomalatai You can get a better idea from her etsy website: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6377160

Placemats--usually the cheap tourist trap plastic ones. It’s fun for me now when my wings are a little clipped and I can “travel” at my table and talk to my husband and kids about other places. I had to get some animal mats from Alaska so my little guy would be excited about them, but now he is.

Fabric (and I’m not much of a “sewing” person, but I’m learning to quilt)

Books, especially children’s books. I love the marriage of art and words in them. We have a “library” with about 7 bookshelves in it. That doesn’t count the ones in other rooms.

Prisms, I love rainbows.

Leaves, rocks--I once carried a rock that I named Herbert 3 miles. When I was traveling a lot I’d pick up flowers and leaves and press them. I made a book and put them in it so I could remember some of those fun times.
(Herbert pictured here)
Cool containers, formula cans, cereal boxes (great for making pattern templates). I have a hard time throwing anything away--it drives my family crazy.

Unusual generally small dangly earrings. In my younger single days I had a pair of “hiking” earrings. That still makes me laugh.


Shells, beach glass, rock with barnacles and the edge of the frame my Mom made.

If you could be an apprentice to any kind of craftsman or woman, what would you want to learn?
I would love to learn print making, spinning, weaving, paper making and woodworking. I don’t know that I could choose just one. I have an Aunt who always had something she was doing in her hands. It didn’t matter where she was: meetings, riding in the car (she was legally blind and couldn’t drive), church, family gatherings. She could knit, crochet, and weave. When she died no one was interested in her spinning and weaving things so I got them all. So here I am a fully equipped spinner and weaver without any skill whatsoever and a little bit overwhelmed by it all. I tried some crocheting for a while with some cheap yarn that someone else gave me--it’s a pile of cheap yarn so I thought I would make a multicolored who cares what happens with it afghan type of thing from what I remembered learning as a kid (with a few tips from passersby) It’s miserable, but it kept my hands busy when I couldn’t do much else. Can anyone tell me how to keep your edges straight?

Do you do this just for yourself, or have you ever gone commercial--craft shows, selling objects online, etc?

I’ve never been able to bring myself to going commercial. I don’t know that I could. I don’t like production levels of handmade things. I did once trade a pair of baby moccasins for some smoked salmon, but that’s as close as I’ve come. Most of what I do is for me and the deadline makes it stressful for me as I try to steal the time to do it from my day. When I can just go at my own pace if I have sick kids that need me for several days more constantly it’s ok.

I've always seen you as a person who takes in the world around you--embracing it in its beauty and harshness--Has becoming a mother dampened this (because you're so busy) or has it heightened it (because it is magnified through your children)?
Becoming a mother has rocked my world in positive and negative ways. I want one day to create some kind of masterpiece that shows the dark and light of it all. I think as a child I thought that for the most part life was light. As I grew I learned a lot about the dark, death, pain, suffering and sorrow, they’re all part of living. It’s not always fun, but it is always life. I still have to encourage my son through the pain of regular blood work--it’s not as often as it once was, but it’s still very difficult to tell this precocious child that he needs to cooperate with someone who’s going to hurt him. I want them to see that life is hard and good. I hope that some of what I make helps them to see that and to focus on what it good and beautiful while acknowledging what is bad and ugly. I’m certainly busier than I’ve ever been, but I still find a need really to express myself in one way or another.

What other "creative" pursuits do we overlook that can also be fulfilling?
There are so many things that can fulfill a person: cooking, throwing parties, writing, gardening, blogging, reading, being a mom, being a wife, being a woman, being a Dad, being a husband, being a man, being a friend--they all require us to take from the world around us and create something that is uniquely “us” and share it with others.

There is so much information out there, so much criticism, negative and positive, that I think you have to pull from all the different sources and makes what works for you work for you. Doing something that gets you excited, interested that’s what is fulfilling and therapeutic.

Staying at home full time is an incredible opportunity for creativity. A friend of mine pointed out to me that you have the opportunity to fill your day with whatever you want. You choose. It doesn’t always feel that way, but the reality is in no other job in the world can you make those kinds of decisions every single day.

I’m afraid I’m getting lost in this question. I have 3 sisters. All 3 have said that they “aren’t creative”. In other words they don’t make THINGS. One of them throws amazing parties for her kids. That’s one of her creative outlets.

Another sister is an amazing dancer and I think that’s one of her creative outlets. It’s what charges her batteries.

The other sister makes things, but she’s not as voracious about it as my mother or even I am.
What advice would you give to women out there--all kinds of women in different stages in life, experiencing different joys and sorrows--on how they might begin a small creative project and how it might help them?

I think I would tell anyone if you have the tiniest of interests in something pursue it. You may find you don’t like it or you may find a way to live and enjoy life.

Having a way to express yourself is so empowering. It takes time to learn things, take the time. Choose things that fit into the time that you have and once you have even the most rudimentary of skills make it your own. It can be a distraction, a way to reach out to someone, to connect with someone. It can be a simple as sitting down and coloring (with or without lines) something. Don’t worry about it matching what’s in your head, just do it. Then move on from there. I believe in coloring and I’m terrible at it. I’ll win no art contest or even the admiration of others, but it’s color and shape and me. Nothing else matters. It does help that my little man says, “Oh Mom, that looks beautiful!”

Friday, April 3, 2009

Paper Mache Easter Eggs

By Melissa
Last spring, my sweet Jane was in a "craft-idea-library-book" phase. My favorite was the paper mache book. We decided to keep it simple and create Easter eggs.
We used balloons, newspaper and homemade paste (water and flour). The kids loved getting their fingers so messy and it was fun to teach them how to make sure the balloon was completely covered and the newspaper was as smooth as possible. It took longer to dry than I expected (humidity? I blame everything on humidity!), and we did a few coats to make them nice and strong.

Next we painted them, then the kids designed them. Here is my biggest tip. Set them up for success. I didn't let them go completely wild. I helped draw little rainbows all over the eggs, stenciled in lines for stripes, sketched in flowers and circles.... then we glued them to ribbons and strung them across the front window. They were thrilled with their finished project!
Go for it! Have fun! My kids were so excited when we pulled these out to decorate this year. Ownership is such a good thing.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Say it with me

When Dave and I were newly married we lived in a duplex. My neighbor was a busy mother of 4 very young children and I was substituting and teaching at Sylvan Learning center. Every.single.time she saw my car in the driveway she called to see if I could watch her children. I'm not joking. It was bad.

The really bad part though is that, I started to lie instead of saying no. I was weak, young and naive. I told her I was on my way out--- then I had to leave. Or I told her I was sick--- then I had to stay home! It is true what they say about lies, I'd get stuck in them and have to make them truths. ;)

Since then, I have learned to be a very good at saying NO. Here are my 5 tips.
  1. Just say No. Stop there. You don't need to explain yourself (this was my problem with my neighbor. My dear Dave would laugh at my predicament and ask why I felt compelled to give her more information that she needed.)
  2. Tell them what you are willing to do. "I am only available till 10:00 this morning." or "I am able to help make flyers, but I cannot be at the event."
  3. Don't get rushed into a decision, tell them "I'll get back to you about that."
  4. Know your limitations. Consider what saying yes will mean to not only you, but your family.
  5. When the conversation starts with "Can I ask you a favor?" Don't say YES! People think the yes is for the favor, not the asking of it. :) I like to say, "What do you need?" Keeps me totally off the hook.
If you need more tips, Oprah had a series of articles about saying no in all different settings. I also love this talk about Good, Better, Best by Dallin H. Oaks.
He says:
We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.
Lastly, one more reminder from D. H. Oaks talk.

In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best. A friend took his young family on a series of summer vacation trips, including visits to memorable historic sites. At the end of the summer he asked his teenage son which of these good summer activities he enjoyed most. The father learned from the reply, and so did those he told of it. “The thing I liked best this summer,” the boy replied, “was the night you and I laid on the lawn and looked at the stars and talked.” Super family activities may be good for children, but they are not always better than one-on-one time with a loving parent.

Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Teach Your Children to Play by Themselves

by Emily

(Happy St. Patrick's Day! click here!)



When Sally had her first baby, we were lucky enough to live within an hour drive of each other. Because I was fairly newlywed and we were childless, I paid keen attention to this transition in Sally's life.

Which easily takes me on a tangent: being the youngest of 5 is awesome because you really do get so much out of watching your siblings go before you. In my case, I had the best examples. I have especially been watching Sally my whole life, as we are closest in age, and this "watching" has been done both inadvertently and intentionally.

Back to the point: I babysat my sweet nephew every chance I could get. I loved it. This was nothing new, I've been an aunt since I was 9, and I can remember each and every one of my nieces' and nephews' births and the magnitude of the occasion, how I felt my life touched and affected by each one individually.


But this was different, because all of a sudden, this time, it could be me.


Fast forward years later, and it is me.


So here is an important lesson I learned from Sally: Teach your children to play by themselves.

Oh, yes! It can be done! How, you ask? Prove it, you say in disbelief. I have a few short suggestions, and they may not jive with your parenting style, but it has worked for me, and I'm pretty sure it's worked for Sally.

1) Get DVR. Teach your child how to use the remote control.

2) Make snacks (fruit gummies, goldfish crackers, juice boxes) readily available, within your child's reach--you know, so they can help themselves.

3) Invest in a large library of VHS video tapes (because they're less easily ruined than DVDs) and teach your child how to use the VHS player.

4) Put all toys, markers, crayons, playdoh, etc. within arms reach for your child and let them have free reign.

5) Make sure your bathroom door has a lock on it, or maybe your bedroom door. This is so you can lock yourself in, and your children out, when the chaos hits the fan. You might consider some emergency rations in this room (chocolate, Dr. Pepper, a cordless phone, and some magazines...maybe a laptop with wireless internet).



HA! JUST KIDDING!


You didn't think I was serious, did you? Sally, did you really think I was going to soil your name on the World Wide Web like this? ;-)

No, the truth is, and we learn this again and again: an ounce of prevention is worth a stitch in time. No, wait. A stitch in time is worth a pound of cure? Hold on...that's not quite right...

Aphorisms are repeated again and again because of one thing: they teach a simple truth that we tend to need to learn over and over.


An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

A little effort upfront will save you a lot of effort and frustration down the road--and isn't this true to just about everything in life, including all aspects of parenting?

One of the first things I did (and I got this wisdom from Sally, not that garbage above), is that when my sweet little newborn awakens in the morning, or after a nap, and said baby is happily playing or cooing in the crib...as much as I may want to go in and scoop babyliciousness up in my arms, I let that baby play. He is happy. Alone. By himself. Playing. Entertaining himself. Not demanding anything.

THIS IS A SKILL that must be learned. Start early.

Another tip: ROUTINES (I totally struggle with this).

I wish my "routine" were a little more routine, like this:

Wake up (get myself dressed and fed, before kids wake up)
Kids dressed
Breakfast

Alone play time (sometimes I put on some child-friendly music to help, sometimes I deliberately get the kids "set-up" with an activity and then leave them alone to continue)

Snack
Walk? Library? Playgroup? (usually just more playtime)

Lunch
Naps

Wake-up snack
My oldest child has been doing "Preschool Pages" (from a workbook) after "nap" time, I direct her to get her started, then she does it ALONE

Playtime (by this point in the day I need to stop what I'm doing and spend some good playtime with my kids--reading books, or playing on the floor, going outside)

(maybe a nice, single video while I get dinner ready)

Dinner
PJs
Family Scripture Study
Family Prayer
Book
BEDTIME @ 7:00pm!

Celebration because kids are in bed!
Do something enjoyable
Go to bed early

(This is what I strive for, not what I actually do...)
I'm also a strong believer in organization of toys. If you have known me from my childhood, this will make you laugh because I always had the messiest room (please, let's not hog up the comments section with "hilarious" anecdotes of how messy my room was, okay? That's just so... unoriginal...;-))

Though I believe in ORGANIZATION, I don't really know how to do it. So don't ask me how.

Messy toys DO NOT GET PLAYED WITH. Which then results in bored children, which then results in parents being constantly nagged by kids who can't seem to play by themselves.

Finally, one last tip. I just refuse to let my life be dictated by a 3 year old. Ha! How rediculous of a statement is that? Let's be honest, who is in control here, me or she? I'm laughing because the truth is, I love her, and I pay sincere attention to her needs. It is "She" who must be obeyed. So let's have a sense of humor about this. Sometimes though, if she is bored, that is just her problem, and she needs the opportunity to figure it out.

How I respond to these repeated pleas of attention due to boredom differs day to day. Sometimes I just ignore her--I'll tell her, "I'm sorry, but you have to decide by yourself what to do right now. Right now it is Mommy's turn to do some work alone, and it is (child's name here)'s turn to play or work by yourself. You're in charge of finding something to do," and then I turn my back (turn on my mommy-sonar listening ears) and pretend to not notice her display of displeasure.


Sometimes I give in, and all it takes is 10 minutes of undivided attention and love to fill her emotional bucket, and then she's good, and I'm good, and it turned out to be the best 10 minutes of my day (her day too).

And then sometimes...I put a video in, and turn off the guilt switch.

We have to be kind to our kids, we have to try to teach them (give them the opportunity to learn this skill, even if you feel like your being a mean mommy by doing it) to play by themselves. But do it deliberately. And don't be so hard on yourself. And try to laugh. And...and...and...

I feel like these things have really helped. I am always looking for new tricks of the trade, so PLEASE share any wisdom and suggestions--or maybe just humor--we can all use a good laugh ;-)