By Melissa
Last week, I sat in the pediatrician's office, watching my 3 healthy children play with blocks. I was hemming and hawing about which shots, if any, we should get during this "well child" visit.
My first few children were vaccinated on the recommended schedule. Never any real worries, just sadness over the pain. I'd done a lot of reading and concluded it was right for us. Eve came along with a special set of worries and we did her shots a bit different, making sure she had what was most critical and delaying the ones that might cause problems or we deemed least necessary, but she ended up getting everything over time.
FF to Lily. At 20 something months she had a set of shots. Nothing seemed wrong, no obvious fever, but when she woke from her nap she wouldn't stand, at all. She wouldn't bear any weight on her leg. No walking, no crawling, hardly any moving her leg... I was freaked out! (Of course, it was a Friday afternoon. Why do all things questionable happen on Fridays?) Anyway, we kept a close eye on her. 2 weeks later she was back to walking but still limping and our doctor suggested we not finish up that series.
So here I sit, watching my sweet Henry, who at 18 months has only had a handful of shots (and a minor (major to a mother) reaction with the last set) and I concluded-- no shots today. (again!) We'll start to catch up next time... with this baby, the maternal instinct has been loud and clear-- hold off, go slow! My doctor has been understanding, and even supportive. I love her.
When the doctor came in, she looked over his records. I told her my plan: MMR at 2. I can do that. I'm comfortable with that. She then said, in the way a friend talks to a friend, "Melissa, I admitted a child for Mumps this morning. A child who was out, playing with those same blocks in the waiting room. ---And the next county over has an Measels outbreak! Measels Melissa!"
And I looked at my baby. And I panicked. What is worse, worrying about possible side effects to vaccinations given to millions of kids, or worrying about my son getting a serious illness I could have prevented. I started to sweat.
I suppose this post could be about determining the voice of fear vs trusting your instinct or listening to God Given Promptings... It is about figuring out what is right for your baby. It isn't easy.
We got an email this week about Gardasil, and it made me wonder how I'll handle that one when the time comes. Hopefully, I'll have answers and be able to listen for them.
And, for what it is worth, I'm not providing any support either way. On purpose. After doing hours and hours of research, I have yet to find a good, solid, unbiased source pro-vax or anti-vax. I'd love to hear your take on it, and what helped you decide... however, all the discussions, IRL and online have been heated. Let's be civil. :)
7 comments:
I found you here too! :-) This is also something I spend hours deliberating. It is a very controversial topic and that is because we all like truth to be standard. When one thing works for one and doesn't work for another it gets our feather ruffled a bit - what to do!? As a mom with children who have reacted to vaccines, as well as myself and a strong family history, I am still forever a pro-vax person. That said, I searched and searched for a doctor that would knowingly and willingly be my "second opinion"- my instincts came first. Specifically for the MMR, I make them do it separate-M, M, R- if they can get it. With my oldest it was easy, now it's harder to come by I hear. I do my own schedule, on my own time and NEVER EVER more than one at a time with the exception of Polio (imo and from what I've read Polio is one of the absolute safest). This was after trips to Johns Hopkins and looking the pediatric team in the eye and asking them how they know which vaccine my child reacted to if she received 3 or 4 at a time. The answer - you can't. Always, always, go with your gut. I found these articles in the past few weeks to be helpful as well. Good luck!
http://www.dooce.com/2009/04/07/word-or-two-about-vaccinations
http://mihow.com/tags/vaccinations/
My son developed a mild case of the mumps after a 7th grade booster was given. He felt miserable. I can only imagine what a full blown case would have been like.
I have a 16 yr old I have not given Gardisil yet. We are waiting til college. I have a sister in law that is infertile due to an STD she contracted form her husband. So I will have her get it eventually. My internist says it is still too new for her to reccomend. The pediatrician on the other hand keeps reminding me. Since we live next to the border there are frequent outbreaks of dread diseases. It is currently swine flu. In recent past it has been whooping cough, chicken pox and measles. I also contracted an intestinal bacteria a year ago. I was very sick, lost 40 llbs. My Dr says it is because we live in a diverse community near the border.
Good luck with your decision. Trust your moomy instincts.
The picture with the post explains my feelings about this issue. Ike shouldn't even be enrolled in school because he is missing his very last Vax and I just keep ignoring the letters they send home. They will probably have to kick him out before I do something. Dragging feet.
Yesterday I got an email from the High School saying that all incoming students next year need a new Tdap - adult DTP - before they can attend school. I don't want to do it but I will.
I just got the tetanus update last year after I fell on a rust roll of barbed wire. It hurt for a week.
Isn't it hard? I have had to have a booster MMR after EVERY SINGLE BIRTH! Ouch! And really, if I'm not immune 2 years after having one.... ?
I'm off to read Lorien's articles. I like the idea of breaking up the M,M, R. You are so right about not knowing which vax they are reacting to when we give 3-4 shots each loaded with 3 or so different viruses.
Ugh.
Flipside though, I don't want mumps. Or measels, or diptheria. Whooping Cough would probably kill Eve.
Excellent topic for conversation.
I'm mostly pro-vax, but like the idea of a doctor who is willing to delay. I really like our pediatrician, as he is very thoughtful and doesn't over-prescribe. Plus he has 2 children within a year of the ages of mine, so I like that he is "in it" right now with his own kids.
I've talked to him about vax's before, and he said that he has *personally* treated children who have DIED from the infection for which they were NOT vaccinated. Here. Where I live. Now dead.
It is the only time in my visits with him that I have heard him speak so strongly. He is very mild mannered, smart, kind, and trusts mothers' instincts. But, he said he has family and friends who choose not to vaccinate and that it is the one thing he will talk till he's blue in the face, and then stew about it in the corner when he can see that no one is listening.
This is the doctor who has taken my children *off* of antibiotics prescribed by another doctor. His approach is more holistic than most.
Anyway, when we talked about it, I was already leaning towards getting my children vaccinated, and I was further persuaded by our conversation.
However, I agree that you have to be in tune with each individual child and feel earnestly for what they need individually. Maybe it's a delayed vaccine schedule.
The thing that bothers me is when I speak to mothers who have bought into scare-tactic hype without honestly reading info from both sides, and who view their doctors as the enemy--the powers that be that must be fought. Some doctors, yeah, but go find a doctor that you feel has your best interests at heart, as an individual. They exist. It sounds like Melissa has one, and I have one.
I feel lucky to have a good doctor.
I agree that nobody is a better advocate for your child than yourself. Be wary of everyone else.
With regard to helpful and objective resources I think if your aware of the objectives of the resource then you can make a wise decision.
For example take CDC.gov/vaccines ... The CDC is only concerned with is "does it work?" without regard to who needs it the most. That's useful as long as you keep their objective in mind. If you keep that in mind then cdc.gov/vaccines is a valuable resource.
For example they recommend Gardasil but the also tell you 3700 die each year from cervical cancer which sounds alarming but out of 300,000,000 Americans that's only 1:81,000. With detection and treatment that statistic should improve by a factor of 4 (1:320,000). Meanwhile on the same website you learn 1:5 Americans will die from smoking.
Plus, your child's risk may even far less then the stated risk (anywhere from 10 to 100 times less) if they do or don't have a certain gene or live a certain lifestyle.
All worth considering.
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