But my ears are clean.
Clean ears are my obsession. Oh, I won’t notice if your ears are dirty, I’m too busy thinking about mine. I don’t even notice if my kids have dirty ears. In fact, it’s not uncommon to find actual potatoes growing in my boy’s ears. But you will never find anything in my ears except swabs.
I have to clean my ears everyday – sometimes 3 times a day. I wash them with shampoo in the shower and then thoroughly dry them with the towel and then I swab them. If I am showering later in the day due to my (vigorous) workout schedule, I have to swab them before I workout, and then again after my shower, and sometimes I even swab them before bed. Just writing this make my ears ache to be swabbed. It’s ridiculous.
The origin of this obsession is too personal to share on the World Wide Web (but it involves a boy trying to stick his slobbery tongue in my ear, on a date, and I still haven’t recovered – I am still trying to get rid of his nasty germs). But I can tell you it has been going on for over 25 years and will stick with me until the day I die.
The day I die may not be far off. O Magazine said you are not supposed to clean your ears with swabs because it forces the earwax back into your ears. Now, the article didn’t say this part, but think about how close your ears are to your brain…what if that wax got forced into your brain? Generally, it is dangerous to force anything, waxy or not, into your brain.
I engage in life threatening behavior daily.
Don’t try to talk me out of my addiction. There is no 12 step program strong enough to stop me. No tough love strategy can change my ways. When my time comes I will be ready with clean underwear and Q-Tips.
And my ears will be clean.
Just in case.
15 comments:
So funny! I'm just the same way (I can't pass a Q-tip without cleaning my ears!). I once had a doctor tell me I have the cleanest ears he has ever seen. I thought I was the only one!
Will someone please tell me WHAT is the proper way to clean your ears? If Q-tips and ear candling (quackery) are out, what can we do? Shake 'em really hard? Use an air compressor? Acid? WHAT?
I'm obsessed with my children's earwax. I was thinking of it just this afternoon driving down I95.
My own? eh. But my kids, I can tell you all about how different each one's earwax productions are.
Gross.
O Magazine will probably run a new story on it this next year with a different opinion. I was always told never to stick ANYTHING in your ear smaller than your elbow. My weapon of choice is good old Q-tips.
We share the same obsession- completely. Sometimes I forget to clean my ears before I go to bed (but I ALWAYS clean them right after a shower) and then I wake up and can feel the greese in my ears and I have to immediately clean them. Drives me crazy.
Yes. Yes to everything you wrote. I love qtip clean ears.
Robin, you crack me up! I too use Q-tips, but not to the extreme level of cleanliness that you described.
So is this the talent you would share if you were on a mission?
Robin...if I told you that I qtip once in a blue moon...can we still be friends?
I do have a plucking obsession, not quite the same huh?
I am so big on cleaning my ears. But thankfully I've kept it down to only after my shower each day. I'd be going through Q-tips (and yes they must be Q-tips) way too fast otherwise.
My sister nortorious is also guilty of this obsession. She even has an ear cleaner that has an LED light on the end so she ddcan see. It only works on other peoples ears, naturally.
I like me a q tip myself.
Me TOO!! I did ask the dr about it once. He said that if you flush our ear out with warm water it will help the wax not get too far into your ear! John thinks I am crazy!
Not your fault. You either learned it from me or it's genetic. When I unpack I leave my little pack in my suitcase and in my carry-on bag swo I won't forget them next time I pack. I even carry them in my purse(s).
We all have our little things. I wish mine was as funny as yours...
Next time we hang out I will comment on your fabulously clean ears.
I'm wondering, how did you survive girls camp? I witnessed no ear cleaning...
Gross about the tounge in the ear. Gross. That is one thing I can't hack.
About the wax going to your brain ... reminds me when Grandma Austin told me if I sniffled too much all the boogers would go to my brain and make me crazy.
Serious. No wonder dad's screwed up.
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