Quick! What is for dinner?

It's hard to know so much! So, once a week we will post a question from a reader, and then do our very best to tell you what to do.


You may not see a response from each sister because sometimes we say the same things. We hope you enjoy this new focus of our blog. If you have a question for us send it to bossyhelp@gmail.com. This question just came in last week!

I'm not a cook, I don't have a lot of time- but I want to feed my 2 year old healthy meals- healthy QUICK meals. So far I've mastered scrambled eggs, grilled chicken in a variety of forms, minestrone soup or bbq chicken in a crockpot, and a variety of frozen pizzas and lazagnas. What can I cook my family quickly, and what are a good backup 'fast food' options for toddlers beyond apples, hotdogs and cheese?

EMILY SAID:

Good question.

First of all, have you seen Robin's recent post at http://leantowardthesun.blogspot.com/2010/10/you-are-in-charge.html ? It is great.

Second of all, I have similar posts at: http://www.vegetablecarnival.com/category/kids-and-food

But here is my short answer: like Robin has said on her blog, YOU'RE in charge.

Easy foods my kids like:
-HUMUS!  For dipping crackers, bread, veggies, etc. This is awesome because it is packed with protein, and so yummy.
-convenience fruits (bananas, apples, grapes, clementines, pears, nectarines, peaches, strawberries--buy organic berries if you can as pesticides are concentrated in their seeds)
-Fruit that needs to be cut up first, but really--this is EASY to do: melons of all kinds, pineapple, watermelon
-Canned foods that are easy and nutritious: (get low sodium) Beans, beans, beans, black beans, brown beans, white beans, green beans. That is easy, just open a can of beans, drain, rinse is optional, and eat.
-Other canned foods: stewed, diced tomatoes (my kids love them plain), corn, carrots (younger kids like these more than older kids it seems), beets (I'm not kidding), etc. Just walk down the canned goods isle and buy a few to try.
-Edemame/ soy beans (freezer section, or fresh from the grocery sushi bar)
-guacamole dip

Veggies:
-carrot sticks, the mini mini ones, easier for small mouths to crunch and chew
-sugar snap peas
-frozen peas straight from the freezer
-tomatoes (my kids love fresh ones, plain, any variety, cherry, grape, regular, whatever)
-celery with peanut butter
-broccoli
-sweet potatoes (slice them into strips, bake until tender, sprinkle cinnamon on top)

-mushrooms (I'm not kidding when I say that Ruby loves them. She'll say, "YUCK!" and then we say, "But you love these!" and then she says, "I do?" and then she gobbles them up--it's a sort of game we play I guess)

Frozen Veggies:
-buy several bags to keep in your freezer, and pop them into the microwave. Buy a good variety, and avoid the ones with "butter sauces". My favorite seasoning for microwaved veggies is Dill Weed. It is savory and delicious. Also, we like the Mrs. Dash table blend. SO yummy.

Grains:

-Whole Wheat Pita
-Whole Grain Tortillas (watch out for fats, read the label, go with a shorter ingredient list with recognizable ingredients, favor a higher fat choice over a choice that has lots of chemical sounding ingredients--like the FLAT OUT wraps are NASTY! and have all kinds of yucky ingredients to make them soft and low fat, but they taste like plastic chemicals)
-whole grain rice
-whole wheat bread

Take the pita, cut it in half, stick it in the toaster, when it pops up, break it into pita chips, and dip in guacamole or humus or peanut butter.

There are just a few ideas to get you started.  It doesn't have to be hard. Think: fruits, veggies and grains that are simple and can be eaten just as they are. Think peanut butter and other dips like humus and guacamole.

Your child will resist at first, but YOU ARE IN CHARGE. If you have other junk OUT of the house, then eventually your child will get hungry enough to give in and try this other food. After about 2 weeks of being consistent, you will be surprised at how much better and how much more your child will eat healthy food.

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SALLY SAID:
It has taken me about 8 years to figure out what is for dinner, and I still struggle with it! But I have found many things that work for me. Here are a few thoughts about healthy quick meals.

1. Your plate should be colorful and as full of whole foods as possible. Think carefully about nutrition: you are probably the only person who will care about nutrition for your child and yourself.

2. Quick: convenience foods are wonderful! If you can justify the expense and find relatively healthy options, they are a great resource. Favorites at our house include:

• frozen potstickers (#1 favorite of the kids, toddlers included),
• frozen ravioli,
• frozen meatballs (it's hard to find healthy ones),
• deli salads with lots of toppings (one large prepared salad from a good deli is usually good to feed 2-3 people if it's a side dish).
• Canned soups (don't forget to buy low sodium if you can) and add an extra can of beans;
• frozen meals that you can add to (Trader Joe's has a frozen channa masala that I love and I put it in a pot with 2 more cans of chickpeas, drained, heat it up, Yum).

My favorite convenient and healthy food for toddlers is canned beans. Black beans are most popular here, but all beans are welcome.

Also convenient: restaurant take-out. There is a mediterranean restaurant here that has a family meal deal, it includes 2 rotisserie chickens and 4 huge side dishes (hummus, greek salad, tabouli, etc) and that meal will feed us for at least 2 meals. It's not a cheap as cooking from scratch but we probably do this at least monthly. Another option: just order 1 main dish and add your salad and sides at home. 
 

Convenience foods inlcude side dishes as well.

• Pre-washed veggies (sugar snap peas, prepared broccoli and/or cauliflower, celery sticks, etc) make easy side dishes. Your broccoli can steam while you get the table set, it is so fast and easy.
• Bagged salads are great, but you have to remember to eat them!
• Toddlers usually like dips, so you can try mixing a little ranch dressing with some sour cream, or making the hummus recipe on Emily or Robin's blogs, and hand the toddler some cucumber slices or celery sticks to munch on.
• Side dishes do not need to be "made", IMO. A side dish is where you can just put a "whole food" on a plate and call it good! Like a sliced apple, some peas, carrots (not cooked), and cucumber.
• Warm up a can of black beans and mix in a 1/4 cup of salsa. Yum. That is a colorful plate full of whole foods.

One more convenience food: fruit. Many fruits come in their own easy wrapper (oranges) and fruits make a great side dish or dessert. One of my children's favorite dessert or after-school treat is a huge bowl of frozen blueberries. We buy them at Costco because we go through quite a lot.

3. Quick but made by you:

• Breakfast burritos (scrambled eggs with a little cheese and/or salsa, sour cream in a burrito) for dinner. We love these.
• Quesadillas with beans, lots of salad on the side.
• Tacos--I usually use beans for filling rather than meat.
• Couscous, it is so easy and Near East has such delicious flavors.
• Polenta as a main or side. It is great layered with red sauce that has veggies in it (like chopped spinach and cooked zucchini). If you make the polenta from scratch it isn't quick, but you can buy it premade and slice it, or make it on Sunday and stick it in the fridge

4. Plate composition: you specifically asked for healthy, so here is my thinking about healthy. Your plate really should be at least half vegetable. At least, and in fact it can be all vegetable. And that goes for your kid(s) too.

1. I try to put veggies on the table to eat before we bless the meal and start our "dinner". The veggies include cherry tomatoes, sugar snap peas when in season, celery sticks, cucumber sticks or slices.
2. Then, with dinner, I dish up the plates and put about 1/3 of the plate entree, the rest salad/veg/fruit/bean/whole grain.
3. I often hold the fruit (grapes, strawberries, apples, whatever) in a separate dish and they need to eat the main stuff before they get the fruit or bread.

Also on the topic of the plate: sometimes I try to make the food in the shape of silly faces. (Hence the pictures.) It is really amazing how they eat every last thing when I do this. I keep adding new noses and other parts to their plates.

Just like everything else, the more you practice, the better you get! I really encourage you to plan out your meals 2 weeks at a time. Doesn't have to be perfect, but if you at least have an idea of what is in your fridge/freezer and when you are going to eat it, it will definitely reduce the panic factor. Good luck! Maybe you can come back and guest blog on this topic in a year!

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Robin Says:
I have a friend who lets her baby teeth on veggies. Of course mom is always there supervising and making sure baby (named Crew) is safe. He cheerfully gums tomatos, sweet peppers, carrots, cucumber slices, and zuchinni. I think this is a brilliant idea - he develops a taste for vegetables rather than cookies. She is such a smart mommy!

My kids always love open faced peanut butter sandwiches with faces made out of bananas, grapes, and raisins. I used whole wheat bread. It was a hit everytime.

Also, try quinoa (keen-wah). Any place you use rice, potatoes, or couscous try quinoa instead. It is super easy to make, cheap, nutritious, and loaded with protein. We love it,.
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Thanks for the excellent question! Keep those questions coming Bossyhelp@gmail.com

It's Hard To Know So Much

We've gone back through the Bossy mail bag and found several questions that we never answered. Why didn't we answer them? We were too busy telling other people what to do. But now, we are focused on those questions. Once a week we will post a question and then do our very best to tell you what to do. 

You may not hear from each sister because sometimes we say the same things (this week I said nearly the same thing as Sally). We hope you enjoy the new focus of our blog. If you have a question for us send it to bossyhelp@gmail.com.

It's hard to know so much. We can't help that we have all the answers. 

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"How do I tell someone that because of their comments I feel like they are judging my children overly harshly and also me, as an indication of my parenting? This is someone I am related to by marriage, and they will likely be in my life for many years to come."      - Timid in Idaho

Sally Says:

To answer your question literally, meaning, what words to say? Use DESC. I know it's not a particularly fabulous acronym, but it is a great way to give feedback to anyone, any time. Here is what DESC stands for:

Describe the situation

Explain the impact

Say what you want

Consequence, either way

• When describing the situation, state facts only. Talk about specific, observable, objective information. Say "Yesterday you did/said XYZ".  
• Explain the impact of his/her behavior. This might be an explanation of how you feel after the behavior, or the impact it has on a situation or other people.
• Say what you want him/her to do differently. Be specific, clear and calm.
• Explain what the consequence is if they change their behavior (or not).

Here is a typical way to give feedback, which ends up making the other person feel defensive and usually doesn't go very well:

"It seems like you judge my children overly harshly and it makes me feel like you think I"m not a good parent."

Better way:

• Describe: "Yesterday you mentioned that Daughter has issues with being selfish. You also said that she is too loud most of the time."
• Explain impact: "When you said that, it felt overly harsh to me. She does share, but at this age, it's normal for her to protect her toys. And loud is what 6-year-olds do. Hearing you say those things made me feel bad. I want you to know that daughter is a great kid. It also made me feel that you might be judging my parenting, which hurt my feelings."
• Say what you want: "I know you love Daughter very much, and I am glad we have the relationship we do. Next time you have a serious concern about her behavior, can you think it over and then talk to me in private? "
• Consequence: "That way I can better understand your concerns and we can have a conversation. Otherwise it just leaves me feeling bad."

Not easy to say, but much clearer and more effective.

This method (DESC) works in all kinds of situations. With teachers, children, spouse, DMV, you name it. You just have to remember to use it (which I don't, just ask my husband!). Good luck.

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Emily Says:

This is tricky. I think more information would help me to give a better answer. My first answer is: get over it. I don't mean to sound insensitive, but some people are very critical, and it might be unlikely that there is much you can do to change the situation. Can you try to have a sense of humor about it? Can you try to laugh about it and approach it with some kind of affection for their concern and interest in your family and let it go, let it roll off your back?  Especially if this is a person you don't see very frequently.

However, if the critical comments are very frequent, and no matter how hard you try to toughen up, it continues to hurt your feelings and makes you feel bad about yourself, then you probably need to talk to them about it.  I would suggest bringing it up during a time when they are NOT saying anything negative, during a time that your feelings aren't charged and emotional--when you're feeling good and they won't feel so defensive. Use language that focuses on the behavior, not the person. For example: "When you do this, it makes me feel this way..." instead of language that is accusatory such as, "YOU make me feel this way."

Here is a sample:
You: "____, I was wondering if I could tell you something that is kind of a sensitive issue that has been troubling me for awhile."
Them: "Okay..." (they will be feeling nervous, and maybe a little defensive)
You: "It's something that I've worried about telling you, but I just really love you and that is why I want to go ahead and share it with you. I mean to say this with love and sincerity because I love you so much. Sometimes when we talk you say things that I think you intend to be helpful, or that you tend to be advice about how I parent my children. But even though I know you're saying it out of love, it still really hurts my feelings. It makes me feel like I'm a bad parent, or that you think I'm a bad parent. I try not to let it bother me, but it continues to happen, and I'm not sure how to handle it."
Them:...(let them talk, try to listen and smile and nod, be understanding, respond to them the way you want them to respond to you)

End with telling them that you love them and you appreciate them in your life, and that you appreciate their love and care for your children. Express that you feel blessed that they take an interest in your family life. Explain that is why it was hard for you to say something about it, because you don't want them to stop showing their love, but you thought they might appreciate knowing how sometimes the unsolicited advice feels hurtful.

Always end with love and understanding.

It might make a difference, it might not. You might risk a little damage to the relationship if they're a defensive person, or they may be really grateful that you told them because they love you and had no idea what was happening. They may have thought that all of those conversations were so nice and sympathetic, not hurtful.  And for you: try to lighten up! Try to laugh about it! Try to focus on the positive, loving things about this family member.

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Robin Says:

Are we related to the same person?
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Kristen Says:

It is difficult to be on the receiving end of criticism of our children, whether there is truth to it or not. I think it is important to first try to think of this person's point of view; do they know your kids well? Is there any accuracy to their comments? And, do you value their opinion on this topic? If they don't really know your children and/or their comments are off base, then their opinion, although unpleasant to deal with, is not something you need to worry too much about. If they do know your children and there is some truth to their comments, and especially if you do value their opinion, then address those issues they have made you aware of. You might thank them for bringing those things to your attention, but ask that in the future they be more sensitive with their comments. It is okay to say to someone, "I felt defensive when you commented that my kids are lazy and play video games all day. As a matter of fact, they are very busy with school, homework, chores, sports, etc. You may only see them when they are relaxed because we don't invite company when we are on a strict schedule."



This is one of those times when it is appropriate to kindly stand up for yourself and your kids. But remember to be sensitive and not emotionally reactive, because, as you said, they will likely be in your life for many years to come.

It's coming!

Keep checking in... our updated blog format is closer than you think!

Bossy isn't dead... we were just hibernating.

We are coming back in October with a new format.  By now you've gotten use to the five of us bossing you around and giving you tons of unsolicited advice.  How about a change?  This time around we will be answering questions you ask us.  Do you need some advice about how to handle your sister-in-law's not so subltle criticisms, or how about your son's grouchy school teacher, what about those concerns you have about your daughter's less than positive friends?  Just ask and you will get advice from all five of the bossy sisters.  We will be posting an email soon where you can send your questions if you want to ask them privately, otherwise, feel free to comment with your thoughts on this new format, and any questions you want us to address.  Then keep watching Bossy! for the changes that are coming!

Flag Day

Did you know that Flag Day is here?

And did you know that there is controversy over when exactly Flag Day is observed: some say the second Sunday in June (that's tomorrow), others insist on June 14 (which is Monday this year). Why can't we all just get along?

Anyway, put your flags up! It's time to decorate for the 4th of July, and honor Betsy Ross who sewed the first flag.

Betsy Ross. Amazing! This is exactly what I look like when I am sewing flags by hand!

Happy Flag Day!

How to: ER version.

By Melissa



I always wondered what you would do if you had to take your child to the emergency room. Would you hop in the car, blood spurting, leg bending backwards and race as fast as you can? Maybe. We luckily haven't had those kind of emergencies. My pediatrician told me once about a woman who was convinced she could get her baby to the ER faster than waiting for an ambulance, it was the wrong choice-- Don't try this, paramedics know what they are doing and can do it while driving- you can't. If it is truly life and death, get the help you or your loved one needs.

However, over the past 11 years of parenting we've logged in more than our fair share of non-life threatening but Emergency Room worthy hospital time. After this past weeks visit I thought, "I'm getting good at this! I should blog about it!" So, here are my tips for "enjoying" your E.R./ hospital stay.

If you do have time, it is worth taking 5 minutes before rushing out the door to grab a few things. These are my essentials:

1. A blanket for the child, hospitals think a sheet is a blanket! Something cozy and familiar makes sleeping somewhere foreign much nicer. Also, binkies, teddy bear, American Girl Dolls. ;) Whatever is their "lovey".
2. Clean clothes for you both (really, you are likely to get bled on, puked on, spilled on, or end up staying longer than you expected and want to freshen up.) Don't forget dry underwear for your kiddo. Honestly, even the child that never has accidents, when there is an I.V., new meds can surprise you... it is worth it to have extras.
3. Cozy socks and a sweater. Hospitals are cold year round, especially at night!
4. Glasses/contact case, make up or at least lip gloss
5. Insurance info and cell phone (this probably should be closer to the top, but they have all this stuff already!)
6. entertainment. We "frequent" a children's hospital (one of the best!) but even still, it is nice to have some books, stickers, coloring stuff, nintendo ds....
7. Entertainment for you and maybe some snacks. Your child will not be able to eat till a doctor ok's it, but you might get hungry and might not want to leave your child alone to track down a candy bar... (I'm thinking I might be the only one who can't go anywhere without packing enough food in her purse to not be starving... I take food everywhere, so maybe skip this and go to number 8.)
8. Money for vending machines! :)

Alright, here are my tips for surviving once you are there.

1. Be really nice. It pays. People are nice to you when you are nice to them. It would seem logical, but when you are stressed sometimes it is easy to over react about little things.
2. Listen to the names of the people who are caring for your child. Repeat them and use them. This isn't' just nice, but helps when "Mary" comes in to start an i.v. and you can say "Anne" just said we were going for x-rays before putting in the iv. Or whatever. It helps.
3. Ask questions and write things down. You are your child's advocate! Make sure you understand what is happening.
4. Eat! Our hospital lets you buy meals to be delivered with your child's. They are reasonably priced, but I tend to "over order" for her not knowing what she would eat, then I finish it off. I think my husband orders a meal of his own... either way, it is important to not be starving! (again, I'm probably just going back to that irrational fear of going hungry... do what works for you!)
5. Once your child is settled, get your own needs met. This past week we were spending the night in the emergency observation department. There was a stretcher for my girl and a chair for me. Not even a soft chair. I cheerfully asked if there was anything more comfortable I could sit on and they brought in a lovely chair/bed thingy. So much nicer for the next 18 hours!

Last of all, It is all about Perspective. We've driven to the emergency room, we've taken ambulances, we've even arrived in a helicopter, but each time, it only takes a minute to realize how blessed we are to be able to get such outstanding care. This week, I watched at least 4 stretchers being wheeled in, kids with neck braces, hustling paramedics and sobbing parents trailing after them. There is just something about a Children's Hospital... if you think your life stinks, go, walk around for an hour and count your many blessings.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

The Legend of my Prego-Shamrock Belly LIVES ON!

HERE and HERE

A Trailer for Every Academy Award Winning Movie Ever, and for your enjoyment.

A Trailer for Every Academy Award Winning Movie Ever -- powered by Cracked.com

I'd like to thank Amanda D for tipping me off.

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.”--Dr. Seuss

Today is the birthday of Theodor Seuss Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss). Sadly, he is dead, like lots of interesting people. He was an author AND an artist, and did many great works outside of his children's books.

This work is called "plethora of fish".  I think the one fish is showing all the others: this is a hook! Do not bite it!

Check out this fun Dr. Seuss site.

Thank you Dr. Seuss for providing such whimsical entertainment for me as a child, and for my children today!

“My alphabet starts with this letter called yuzz. It's the letter I use to spell yuzz-a-ma-tuzz. You'll be sort of surprised what there is to be found once you go beyond 'Z' and start poking around!” --Dr Seuss

My new favorite mom thing, and a free gift for you!

by Emily

It's the end of the day, my kids are pajama'd, and we're snuggling up on the couch for some reading time together. Often the day was long and chaotic (my husband and I are both in graduate school full-time and teaching), and its the first chance we've had to really connect with our kids. Days like that are tough on everyone. Our bedtime reading has become a sacred family ritual, and we all look forward to it.

When I think about being far away from our parents, and our children's grandparents, I feel sad that they don't get to enjoy our children in this same way--all snuggled up with a good book.

Enter:




I have been wanting to share this with all my mother friends! I finally got "permission" to do it from my brother in law, who is involved with the development of this cool product. It is called Readeo--as in the combination of the words read+video=Readeo.

Let me explain: have you ever used Skype? Or any other online video-chat program? Do you have children or grandchildren you do this with?

We have 2 children, and they miss their grandparents and so we have tried Skype as a way to have more meaningful contact with grandparents. It is nice, but Readeo is much more satisfying. It is like Skype, only with really great children's books, smooth video streaming, and bright, clear pictures.





I think my 2 year old, Joey, loves it most. This afternoon when I was talking to grandma on the phone, Joey was pulling on my leg, "Mommy? Mommy? Iwah book wih gamma! Now! Mommy?"

40 minutes later: the dishwasher is loaded, dinner is on the table, and Ruby (4) and Joey (2) have read 6 books with Grandma & Grandpa, as well as having showed them their tiger puppets they made at a Chinese New Year party, among other glorious tricks via Readeo's BookChat.

To get the full effect, check out this video on their home page: http://www.readeo.com/

The Story Behind Readeo from Readeo on Vimeo.

A few more things I like about Readeo:

• Face-to-face story time from anywhere in the world
• Award-winning and popular titles hand-picked for the site by Readeo’s editor (she's an expert in children's literature, IMO)
• Personalized “bookshelves” (I love this feature, and I gave some feedback to my brother in law, and now the bookshelves are awesome!)
• A library that is searchable by age, gender and subject matter
• A Book of the Month that is free to read for all users (even if you're not a paying subscriber!)



I hope you'll try it out, it is such a cool thing to do with your kids and grandparents, or a spouse who travels, or aunts & uncles, etc.

Here is the gift: a free month trial! You will need to sign up for a subscription to do so, but if you decide its not for you, you can cancel at any time, and you won't be billed until after the free month is over.

Coupon code: "readeolaunch"

I think you will LOVE it!

This might be a great gift for a grandparent who already has everything imaginable. Also, both users on each computer do NOT need to be a paying subscriber to use Readeo--only one user needs a subscription. The other user is a guest, and can BookChat anytime with the paying subscriber--so this is a great gift for the grandparent who has grandchildren in multiple locations.